**NOTE: I take measures to ensure that no names, dates, room numbers, or other identifiers are present. Even for the nurses I work with who are aware of the actual events, I have to make sure that even they would not be able to identify the patient. Patients identities will be protected through various ways including changing of dates, names, sex, race, etc. My intention in this blog is not to share stories about patients but stories about nursing.**
A new fall quarter has started. Only last year that was me starting my final quarter of nursing school. So looking forward to the end of it, but sad at the same time. Dreading the NCLEX that was approaching too quickly and being so afraid that I wouldn't pass. I was looking forward to starting my career but I knew that I wouldn't be working along side my best friends. It all has me thinking about my journey as a new nurse. I started this blog to document my growth as a nurse and to share with my family and friends.
Each day as I grow and become more comfortable in practice, I hear the words and see the faces of the nurses who I have been lucky enough to learn from.
I am thankful to every nursing instructor I had in school for pushing me to be more than "good" and encouraging me to be great! Every instructor that I had taught me more than just the book; they taught me critical thinking, leadership, compassion, and humor.
I am thankful for every preceptor that put up with me and allowed me to follow them and learn from their triumphs and their failures.
I am thankful for the nurses I work with now for sharing your wisdom and guiding me into the world of big girl nursing.
I am thankful for my best friends, the nurses that shared in my happiness and helped me shed a tear. We somehow made it through school together and now we're alone and trying to make it. Thank goodness for Facebook, cell phones, and blogs. :o)
A very special thank you to the Sandstone for putting up with this baby nurse. They have taught me to have fun at work because if you don't, you'll never make it. They make the long nights of call lights worth it. They are the biggest help and I would never make it through a night without them. I think some have yet to learn your value, but they will. ;o)
And a thank you to my family & friends for the unconditional love through the crazy years at school, the switch to night shift, and dealing with the rants and excited stories of this nurse. They are amazing! <3
Without these nurses, tech's, and family & friends to push me, love me, educate me, and laugh with me, I wouldn't be where I am today. I am a good nurse because of all of you. One day I hope to be a great nurse because of you. Maybe one day I can be the voice of encouragement to another nurse.
Wednesday, September 15, 2010
Wednesday, September 1, 2010
Ramblings of a Night Nurse: My First Code
**NOTE: Sorry for the length of time to post. This was due to time constraints and ensuring that there are no patient identifiers available. I take measures to ensure that no names, dates, room numbers, or other identifiers are present. Even for the nurses I work with who are aware of the actual events, I have to make sure that even they would not be able to identify the patient. Patients identities will be protected through various ways including changing of dates, names, sex, race, etc. My intention in this blog is not to share stories about patients but stories about nursing.**
After more than a year of working in the hospital and several more years of being in the hospital on a fairly regular basis, the inevitable finally happened. My first code.
I had a patient in "B" bed and another nurse had a new patient in "A" bed. Going in and out over the first few hours of the evening, "A" bed was not doing well. He started on 1 liter of oxygen at 1800 and was on 6 by 2300, then on CPAP where he started doing much better. His O2 sat improved into the high 90's and he seemed more comfortable. Lasix was not working, even after several doses in just a few hours he had very little output. I wonder what he sounded like? His rhythm on the monitor was very irregular and he was having a lot of PVC's. But that too improved once on CPAP.
Around 0030 the patient started ringing out with sats in the high 80's again. I was busy with my patients in another room. When I left and went to the nurses station to catch up on my charting he hadn't rang out in a few minutes. Soon he rang out at 83%. Something in my head went off and I remember thinking, "a patient on CPAP shouldn't be ringing out..." I turned and looked at the monitor behind me and it said 81%, then 78% before I could turn to run to his room. "OH SHIT!" would be the words I murmured as I turned the corner.
When I came into his room I saw the monitor first, it wasn't picking up a sat. Then I saw him. He had his CPAP off, crumpled over in the bed, gray. I started calling his name; nothing. I shook him; nothing. My mind was racing, this voice in my head screaming at me to hit the staff assist and another one telling me to give him air to breathe, to check for a pulse...I tried to do it all at once, I guess it worked. I barely remember hitting the button for help. I do remember waiting for what seemed like an eternity for help to arrive. I know it wasn't long at all. Just felt like it. I was trying to keep his CPAP on and trying to find a pulse...a pulse that I couldn't find.
My co-workers arrived. (Insert sigh of relief here). And things just went moving in a motion that I cannot clearly recall. I remember drawing the curtain between the two beds. I had this little voice in my head from school, I wish I could remember who said it, to remember to protect the patient in the next bed from seeing it. And so I did. I feel like I rambled around for awhile. What do I do? Someone asked if anyone was writing down what was happening and I found what I needed to do. I think there were two jobs they told us not to do during the first couple of codes, first was manning the code cart and second was charting what happened-cause in your first code you don't know. :o) Well, I did it and I survived with a little help from my friends.
I have always worried about when this would happen. When I first started the internship I remember waking up, getting ready, and saying a little prayer to myself that there wouldn't be a code because I wouldn't know what to do. I have seen a lot of intubations and have a relative feeling of comfort because of it. It feels weird to talk about it like that; someone's misfortune that I learned from and feel confident in handling. Huh. And I'm certainly not begging for anymore codes to happen. Not at all. I am glad that this first experience is over though. Now I have some idea of what to expect.
I think the worst part for me was trying to explain what had happened to my patient in the next bed. I still hope that I did it the "right way." I don't want to give away information about another patient but this was a frightening thing for my patient to experience. I don't think anyone ever taught us the "right way" to tell another patient about a code. Maybe I should ask around before the next one...
After more than a year of working in the hospital and several more years of being in the hospital on a fairly regular basis, the inevitable finally happened. My first code.
I had a patient in "B" bed and another nurse had a new patient in "A" bed. Going in and out over the first few hours of the evening, "A" bed was not doing well. He started on 1 liter of oxygen at 1800 and was on 6 by 2300, then on CPAP where he started doing much better. His O2 sat improved into the high 90's and he seemed more comfortable. Lasix was not working, even after several doses in just a few hours he had very little output. I wonder what he sounded like? His rhythm on the monitor was very irregular and he was having a lot of PVC's. But that too improved once on CPAP.
Around 0030 the patient started ringing out with sats in the high 80's again. I was busy with my patients in another room. When I left and went to the nurses station to catch up on my charting he hadn't rang out in a few minutes. Soon he rang out at 83%. Something in my head went off and I remember thinking, "a patient on CPAP shouldn't be ringing out..." I turned and looked at the monitor behind me and it said 81%, then 78% before I could turn to run to his room. "OH SHIT!" would be the words I murmured as I turned the corner.
When I came into his room I saw the monitor first, it wasn't picking up a sat. Then I saw him. He had his CPAP off, crumpled over in the bed, gray. I started calling his name; nothing. I shook him; nothing. My mind was racing, this voice in my head screaming at me to hit the staff assist and another one telling me to give him air to breathe, to check for a pulse...I tried to do it all at once, I guess it worked. I barely remember hitting the button for help. I do remember waiting for what seemed like an eternity for help to arrive. I know it wasn't long at all. Just felt like it. I was trying to keep his CPAP on and trying to find a pulse...a pulse that I couldn't find.
My co-workers arrived. (Insert sigh of relief here). And things just went moving in a motion that I cannot clearly recall. I remember drawing the curtain between the two beds. I had this little voice in my head from school, I wish I could remember who said it, to remember to protect the patient in the next bed from seeing it. And so I did. I feel like I rambled around for awhile. What do I do? Someone asked if anyone was writing down what was happening and I found what I needed to do. I think there were two jobs they told us not to do during the first couple of codes, first was manning the code cart and second was charting what happened-cause in your first code you don't know. :o) Well, I did it and I survived with a little help from my friends.
I have always worried about when this would happen. When I first started the internship I remember waking up, getting ready, and saying a little prayer to myself that there wouldn't be a code because I wouldn't know what to do. I have seen a lot of intubations and have a relative feeling of comfort because of it. It feels weird to talk about it like that; someone's misfortune that I learned from and feel confident in handling. Huh. And I'm certainly not begging for anymore codes to happen. Not at all. I am glad that this first experience is over though. Now I have some idea of what to expect.
I think the worst part for me was trying to explain what had happened to my patient in the next bed. I still hope that I did it the "right way." I don't want to give away information about another patient but this was a frightening thing for my patient to experience. I don't think anyone ever taught us the "right way" to tell another patient about a code. Maybe I should ask around before the next one...
Tuesday, August 31, 2010
Family Update
Not another "Night Nurse" update. Not yet anyway. That's all my updates have been lately. Time to focus on family. ♥Ryan:
When did he get so big? Less than one month to 7!!! Unbelievable! I remember so vividly
just holding him so close just after he was born. I remember how BIG he was! All 9 pounds 8.5 ounces of him. The nurses in the nursery called him Chubbers. You'd never think it now though, would you? He's tall and lanky now. And he's leaving that grouchy attitude behind him. He's starting to get the jokes and teasing that we do and he even teases back. He's so fun. I love getting to spend time just hanging out with him. I'd have to say he's the best second grader in the world. I think he's just the best anyway. He's smart and funny. He has a laugh that has always been so contagious. Once he starts chuckling I defy anyone to not do the same. He's also very caring, right down to his core, and like his mom, maybe to a fault. He will put the needs of others ahead of his own in a heartbeat and not think twice. I am so proud of him.Austin:
Austin, AustieBear, Bear, Bug, Bub, Boo, Monkey, Little Dude...all for my little man. Well, little BIG man. Weighing in at 47 pounds at 3 years old will qualify you for big for
sure. He's at the 97th %ile on everything-still. He is going back to school very soon and couldn't be more excited to go. He is counting down the days. And he is so smart! He still talks like such a baby, or maybe I just think he does because he's bigger than he should be, and I think it's just the sweetest. It's not "baby talk", just sweet sounds to his words and not enunciating words yet. He sings this "Ravioli" song that just melts my heart...he says "rabioli." Every time he says it, I can't help but smile to myself and feel my heart swell. He's quite the stinker though and gets great pleasure in teasing his poor brother.Eric:
What can I say about Eric? lol! He just passed the five year mark at University of Dayton. That means we've been back in Dayton for five years, which is just amazing. Ryan was still a baby...or
so I thought. So much has changed since then. Our house doesn't look like the same house anymore. Eric has spent so much time and effort to fix it up and make it the way we want it to be. We'll never get the money back out it, but we knew that from the start. We just wanted to create a home. Mission accomplished. I'm so glad for the work he has done on our home but I do wish he'd finish up his projects. Actually, I think the cabinets are completely finished. Took one month but they are done. And not Eric's version of done but actually done done. Yay! They look nice too. We are outgrowing our home though and have started paying off debts and saving money for a down payment for our next home.Eric is still employed by U.D. but he is working at the base right now. Probably for the next five years. (Ryan keeps asking when he can go with him and become a soldier...sigh...) He is going back to school this fall, too. I'm so proud of him.
Maggie & Hank:
Hank may find himself "lost" soon. He likes to eat just about 
everything. He has to stay in the kennel whenever we leave and even when we sleep because he has eaten up about 20 pairs of underwear, three pairs of flip flops, chair legs, and a laundry hamper. He might have to go live on a farm. Maggie is doing very well. Obedience class was just the ticket to a happy dog. She barks less and listens better. She has even taught Hank a few things. Eric has taught them to jump through a hula hoop for treats. Sometimes Hank is too fat and lazy and waddles around or under the hoop.My Mom, baby sister, and Bubby are coming to see us this weekend. We are all so very excited! Grandma and Papa are doing well; been on several trips and vacations this year. I'm so glad they
are finally enjoying their retirement! I do wish my sister in-law would let them enjoy it more but what can you do? My best friend is getting married in less than a year!!! Woo! So happy for her. I'm nervous though because she's making me give a toast at her wedding. What to say? She has found a great guy. I can say that...but I think maybe I should add a little bit more. haha!As for me, I'm great! I really like my job, love my coworkers, enjoying school, and I feel like I actually get to see my kids. It's hard when I work three in a row, hell even two in a row makes it 48 hours without seeing them but for 15 minutes before I go to work. But my nights off are all about them. I never had a night off when I was at Sinclair. I get to cuddle up and watch Wonder Pets with Austin, read books with Ryan, and watch them play outside. Things I missed greatly when I was working on my
associates. I'll never regret going to school when I did but I do get sad at how much I missed. Especially what I missed of Austin as a baby. Things that I relished when I was a stay at home mom with Ryan-first words, first steps, funny phrases, just everything. It always hurt to hear it second hand from my mother in-law. I guess I'm trying to make up for it. :o)And after the snuggles, the fights, and the ready to rip my hair out moments with the boys (and the hubby), I spend the rest of my nights off working on school work. It's going to pay off so well-in nine short months I'll have my Bachelor's!! What a great feeling! Then it's on to finding that Master's program. Eric is so very supportive of me pursuing that as well. He's even mentioned Doctorate programs...I'm just not sure that I'm interested in that. Yikes! I've been in school for 20 years!!! I think I need some time off soon.
I do miss my girls though. I don't get to see them hardly ever and some I see and hear from very
rarely. Amber and I keep in contact pretty well. I thought for sure we'd drift apart since we live so far away from each other but somehow we've managed. She is a very treasured friend who is important to me and my boys. And Seth, Amber's husband, has become quite the role model for my will-be soldier Ryan. Stacy and I have hit and miss times where we'll talk a lot for a few days and then nothing for weeks. We need to follow up on our plans to drag our husbands out again! Jennifer has all but disappeared off the face of the Earth! And Mindy is busy with her new house. I can't believe that just a year ago we were looking forward to our last quarter of school. Our final moments before becoming real nurses. I think that will be another blog coming soon-our one year mark. We will surely have to have dinner.
Sunday, August 29, 2010
Ramblings of a Night Nurse: High's and Low's
I suppose everyone has high's and low's in their chosen career. My high's are usually when a patient gets to go home or having a patient tell me I did a good job for them. Last week I got a hug from a patient that I had cared for over the past two weeks; it was a great feeling. I didn't do anything different or special for this patient than I had for any other but it just felt nice to get that unexpected hug and gratitude. It certainly makes up for the low's I've experienced lately...
The patient that I finally got to see go home just a few weeks ago came back only two days later. He still hasn't left yet. I admitted him back that night but I did not sign up for primary as I had before. Too much for my heart to take I suppose. It's hard to decide if that's a weakness or a strength; I suppose a little of both. I'm a sensitive person and feel greatly for my patients. I want the best for them and care deeply. Strength. I let it get to me too. Weakness. It wears on my heart and my head. I learn from it. Strength. I fall for it all over again. Weakness. I guess this will be a struggle for me.
This morning at the end of my shift, I had a patient's family member out in the hallway screaming obscenities about the patient's nurse. That patient's nurse was me. I've had patient's and patient's families that I didn't really mesh with and I've had patients (one that sticks out in particular) that I could hardly get along with. But I've never had someone saying that I was horrible and wasn't doing a good job. In this instance it was not anything that I really did or did not do but just how things worked out. This was the type of patient that called out literally every 30 seconds until you finally walked into the room. I was next door in an isolation room with another patient and could not leave. I heard the call light, heard it get answered, my phone rang, someone called into the room I was in on that call light, I heard the other call light again, and again, and again. My phone rang several times more. Another call into the room I was in, still couldn't leave. The PCT checked for me and the patient's family member was standing in the hallway yelling about the nurse. Another nurse finally went in and the IV was beeping and it was leaking. The patient also wanted their pain medicine that was "due" at 0200...when the patient was sleeping. I do not just bring in pain medicine. It is not "due", it is available to be given. I went in twice after the "due" time and so did a PCT and Respiratory went in as well and I got no call and I was not asked for pain medicine. Instead, I got screamed about in the hallway at 0655 this morning.
Even though I know that this was not really my fault, I don't feel good about it. It's a definite low for me. I can't help but wonder what I could have done to help this situation from getting out of hand. I don't know that there is anything that could have been done but another weakness of mine is over-analyzing things. What's worse is I had to leave the day shift nurse to deal with a cranky patient and family member. Luckily it was a nurse that I just love and she had dealt with the situation on Saturday afternoon. I'm glad I didn't have to try to explain this to a new nurse.
Overall, my career is so far mostly high's. I'm getting a lot more confident in my practice. I know what I need to do for my patient's now and just do it. I know when I need to call the doctor and I'm confident in handling those situations and getting what I want from them. It's been nice to evaluate my growth over the past few months and see how far I've come. And how much more I have to learn. There are a lot of changes going on on my unit (as described in a previous post) and will need to find a new place to go in about a year. I'm sure I'll have a good foundation and will be ready to move on by then.
Just where? ICU? ER? L&D? I'll have my BSN by then too. Only three quarters left. (Sigh of relief!!) Then I need to start scoping out Master's programs. Well, start making decisions on which Master's program I want to go with. I know at some point I want to start teaching. But I guess that's a discussion for a different blog. :o)
The patient that I finally got to see go home just a few weeks ago came back only two days later. He still hasn't left yet. I admitted him back that night but I did not sign up for primary as I had before. Too much for my heart to take I suppose. It's hard to decide if that's a weakness or a strength; I suppose a little of both. I'm a sensitive person and feel greatly for my patients. I want the best for them and care deeply. Strength. I let it get to me too. Weakness. It wears on my heart and my head. I learn from it. Strength. I fall for it all over again. Weakness. I guess this will be a struggle for me.
This morning at the end of my shift, I had a patient's family member out in the hallway screaming obscenities about the patient's nurse. That patient's nurse was me. I've had patient's and patient's families that I didn't really mesh with and I've had patients (one that sticks out in particular) that I could hardly get along with. But I've never had someone saying that I was horrible and wasn't doing a good job. In this instance it was not anything that I really did or did not do but just how things worked out. This was the type of patient that called out literally every 30 seconds until you finally walked into the room. I was next door in an isolation room with another patient and could not leave. I heard the call light, heard it get answered, my phone rang, someone called into the room I was in on that call light, I heard the other call light again, and again, and again. My phone rang several times more. Another call into the room I was in, still couldn't leave. The PCT checked for me and the patient's family member was standing in the hallway yelling about the nurse. Another nurse finally went in and the IV was beeping and it was leaking. The patient also wanted their pain medicine that was "due" at 0200...when the patient was sleeping. I do not just bring in pain medicine. It is not "due", it is available to be given. I went in twice after the "due" time and so did a PCT and Respiratory went in as well and I got no call and I was not asked for pain medicine. Instead, I got screamed about in the hallway at 0655 this morning.
Even though I know that this was not really my fault, I don't feel good about it. It's a definite low for me. I can't help but wonder what I could have done to help this situation from getting out of hand. I don't know that there is anything that could have been done but another weakness of mine is over-analyzing things. What's worse is I had to leave the day shift nurse to deal with a cranky patient and family member. Luckily it was a nurse that I just love and she had dealt with the situation on Saturday afternoon. I'm glad I didn't have to try to explain this to a new nurse.
Overall, my career is so far mostly high's. I'm getting a lot more confident in my practice. I know what I need to do for my patient's now and just do it. I know when I need to call the doctor and I'm confident in handling those situations and getting what I want from them. It's been nice to evaluate my growth over the past few months and see how far I've come. And how much more I have to learn. There are a lot of changes going on on my unit (as described in a previous post) and will need to find a new place to go in about a year. I'm sure I'll have a good foundation and will be ready to move on by then.
Just where? ICU? ER? L&D? I'll have my BSN by then too. Only three quarters left. (Sigh of relief!!) Then I need to start scoping out Master's programs. Well, start making decisions on which Master's program I want to go with. I know at some point I want to start teaching. But I guess that's a discussion for a different blog. :o)
Wednesday, August 4, 2010
Wednesday, July 28, 2010
Ramblings of Night Nurse: Reward
Helping a patient after many months in the hospital has been a trialing and rewarding experience. I have three nights off and I hope when I go back on Saturday this patient isn't there anymore. Hopefully they will have finally gone home.
I almost gave up; I almost stopped. I probably should have-but I just kept going. Another learning experience. But to know this patient is walking out of the hospital soon is the greatest feeling. To have gone from holding their hand and thinking that this may be "it"; you know, that moment...to only a week later and we might be sending them home...it reaffirms that reason for me going to work. It took many, many days but I finally accomplished my goal of helping this patient get well and go home. :o)
The night before last was rough. Four isolation patients and two were admissions. Don't ask how that happened-it's a long story and not all that important. But it was frustrating. And overwhelming. And I walked out of a room and said "Oh my god! I hate this place!"
I don't really. I was burnt out. Burnt out on taking care of my patient (see above) and from always having four patients regardless of the team and always getting the admits and on and on. Even if it isn't quite always, it just felt that way. That night and that moment was the final straw.
It's been emotionally draining the past few weeks and I just needed to have that moment. Have an outlet for my frustrations. See, I actually really like my job and I like my patient's quite a bit too. Most of the time. ;o) What I needed even more was to get that news that my patient was going to get to go home. Such a rewarding moment that I promptly shared with everyone I saw. Almost everyone on the unit has cared for this patient and knows the story; I know that a few of the other nurses were pleased as well.
I can't help but wonder what would have happened last night if I hadn't gotten that news...
Decision:
The decision was to stay on 6SAC. I figure I'll stay and get more experience and in the next 3-6 months apply where ever I want: one of the ICU's, CICU, or ER. I'm happy on 6SAC. I just got there and I'm not ready to leave. Being in school and trying to orient to a new unit, an ICU at that, might not be the best idea. And so I'll wait...and make another decision in 3-6 months.
Wish me luck!
I almost gave up; I almost stopped. I probably should have-but I just kept going. Another learning experience. But to know this patient is walking out of the hospital soon is the greatest feeling. To have gone from holding their hand and thinking that this may be "it"; you know, that moment...to only a week later and we might be sending them home...it reaffirms that reason for me going to work. It took many, many days but I finally accomplished my goal of helping this patient get well and go home. :o)
The night before last was rough. Four isolation patients and two were admissions. Don't ask how that happened-it's a long story and not all that important. But it was frustrating. And overwhelming. And I walked out of a room and said "Oh my god! I hate this place!"
I don't really. I was burnt out. Burnt out on taking care of my patient (see above) and from always having four patients regardless of the team and always getting the admits and on and on. Even if it isn't quite always, it just felt that way. That night and that moment was the final straw.
It's been emotionally draining the past few weeks and I just needed to have that moment. Have an outlet for my frustrations. See, I actually really like my job and I like my patient's quite a bit too. Most of the time. ;o) What I needed even more was to get that news that my patient was going to get to go home. Such a rewarding moment that I promptly shared with everyone I saw. Almost everyone on the unit has cared for this patient and knows the story; I know that a few of the other nurses were pleased as well.
I can't help but wonder what would have happened last night if I hadn't gotten that news...
Decision:
The decision was to stay on 6SAC. I figure I'll stay and get more experience and in the next 3-6 months apply where ever I want: one of the ICU's, CICU, or ER. I'm happy on 6SAC. I just got there and I'm not ready to leave. Being in school and trying to orient to a new unit, an ICU at that, might not be the best idea. And so I'll wait...and make another decision in 3-6 months.
Wish me luck!
Wednesday, July 21, 2010
Ramblings of a Night Nurse: Decisions, decisions...
Yesterday morning I marked down on my sheet of paper what my decision was for the upcoming changes to my unit. See, we are moving to a Neuro ICU and eventually (though no one knows when) 6SAC will be no more. I, of course, think that my unit is the best in the entire hospital and that I work with the best people one could work with, so I'm sad to see it end. They are breaking up the ICU into Medical, Surgical, and Neuro, we were given the choice of those three or stay on 6SAC for while it remains. My goal has been to get to ICU, but being a nurse for 6 months makes me a little nervous to jump into ICU. I'm just now comfortable with working step-down and still find myself with many, many questions. But maybe I should just take the leap?
After flipping back and forth on my decision for many weeks I finally checked my box and signed my name. I just hope that my decision works out for the best.
I have started picking up and working hours for people and I certainly don't mind it and I really don't mind the extra money. But I'm burnt out now-I haven't had many days off in the past month and I'm anxious for it. I've got some long breaks in shifts coming up-once I even have 6 days off in a row-and I can't wait! I should be sleeping now since I'm back tonight. But my brain is just reeling. Too much going on.
During my never ending time at the hospital lately, I have gotten to help other new nurses. Kind of scary that there are nurses that are newer than me, huh? But it's very gratifying to have a nurse come to me and ask my opinion or ask what we do when ___. What's even better is that I often have some kind of helpful hint or bit on information that helped me along the way. I hope I'm helping them the same way that my wonderful preceptors and the great nurses on my unit have helped me.
I was honored last week with a mention in a family letter:
"Elena Soppe was dad's nurse on the dayshift Friday and Saturday. She was very sweet and friendly, taking time to answer our questions. And again, she didn't make us feel rushed, and she stopped by and checked on all of us frequently."
How rewarding! Sometimes we don't always hear from patient's that we did a good job taking care of them; I wouldn't expect to either. I'm not in this for the "thank you's" and "good job's" but it's so nice to hear that I am doing something right. What's really great about this is that I remember this patient and I remember his family. His daughter (who wrote this) is a nurse in my hospital, so that makes it a little extra special in my mind. The letter is posted on the unit so when I start to feel a little run down I go sneak a peak to raise my spirits and remind me of why I'm there. Even if it is the third in a row after one day off from the previous third in a row. Or after working 12 hours with a very trying or challenging patient. Don't know what I'll do when they take it down. :o) I also feel so lucky to work for a hospital that has such great employees throughout the organization; the family also thanked techs, transport personnel and environmental personnel for their kindness and smiles.
One other decision I need to make is whether I will continue being a primary nurse for a patient I've been caring for. This patient has been in the hospital for some time and I've taken care of them since shortly after they came on my unit. This patient, due to diagnosis and the other goings-on, is just draining to take of. Very pleasant and a very nice person but it just takes everything out of you. And when you have two or three other patients. Sigh. This is another decision I have flip-flopped on. Usually I just make a decision and stick to it. I guess it's just another way this situation is draining me.
Well I better get to bed now. Maybe. Or maybe I should fold the laundry. Ugh-I really suck at decisions lately.
After flipping back and forth on my decision for many weeks I finally checked my box and signed my name. I just hope that my decision works out for the best.
I have started picking up and working hours for people and I certainly don't mind it and I really don't mind the extra money. But I'm burnt out now-I haven't had many days off in the past month and I'm anxious for it. I've got some long breaks in shifts coming up-once I even have 6 days off in a row-and I can't wait! I should be sleeping now since I'm back tonight. But my brain is just reeling. Too much going on.
During my never ending time at the hospital lately, I have gotten to help other new nurses. Kind of scary that there are nurses that are newer than me, huh? But it's very gratifying to have a nurse come to me and ask my opinion or ask what we do when ___. What's even better is that I often have some kind of helpful hint or bit on information that helped me along the way. I hope I'm helping them the same way that my wonderful preceptors and the great nurses on my unit have helped me.
I was honored last week with a mention in a family letter:
"Elena Soppe was dad's nurse on the dayshift Friday and Saturday. She was very sweet and friendly, taking time to answer our questions. And again, she didn't make us feel rushed, and she stopped by and checked on all of us frequently."
How rewarding! Sometimes we don't always hear from patient's that we did a good job taking care of them; I wouldn't expect to either. I'm not in this for the "thank you's" and "good job's" but it's so nice to hear that I am doing something right. What's really great about this is that I remember this patient and I remember his family. His daughter (who wrote this) is a nurse in my hospital, so that makes it a little extra special in my mind. The letter is posted on the unit so when I start to feel a little run down I go sneak a peak to raise my spirits and remind me of why I'm there. Even if it is the third in a row after one day off from the previous third in a row. Or after working 12 hours with a very trying or challenging patient. Don't know what I'll do when they take it down. :o) I also feel so lucky to work for a hospital that has such great employees throughout the organization; the family also thanked techs, transport personnel and environmental personnel for their kindness and smiles.
One other decision I need to make is whether I will continue being a primary nurse for a patient I've been caring for. This patient has been in the hospital for some time and I've taken care of them since shortly after they came on my unit. This patient, due to diagnosis and the other goings-on, is just draining to take of. Very pleasant and a very nice person but it just takes everything out of you. And when you have two or three other patients. Sigh. This is another decision I have flip-flopped on. Usually I just make a decision and stick to it. I guess it's just another way this situation is draining me.
Well I better get to bed now. Maybe. Or maybe I should fold the laundry. Ugh-I really suck at decisions lately.
Friday, June 11, 2010
Ramblings of a Night Nurse: Sometimes...
I'm becoming painfully aware of the fragility of life and the importance of my job-but what's more painful is that sometimes, regardless of what I do or say, people will die. I fortunately have not lost my patient's while I'm on shift but last week I saw that four people that I cared for had passed away...in the same week.
I like to think that I'm a good nurse. I do all those things that a good nurse does. I use good nursing judgment and help make decisions for the care of these patients. But sometimes things are lurking that can't be avoided. Sometimes not everyone catches everything. And sometimes, I guess it's just time for people to die.
Two of the four patients, although it's hard to say, I'm glad they are finally at peace. They had to struggle with very long illnesses and weren't themselves anymore. I never thought I'd be saying or thinking "Oh thank goodness" when it came to someone's death. But then I think about how sick my Grandma was and I think "Oh thank goodness." People just shouldn't have to suffer.
We had a lady who was dying the other week and she was getting all the Palliative Care treatment, including a lot of pain meds. She was a DNR-Comfort Care and for some reason the nurse's had felt it wasn't appropriate to give her pain meds because her blood pressure was too low. Good nursing judgement physiologically but this poor woman was dying. She was in pain. Sometimes people are afraid to give the meds because they think they are "killing" the patient. But sometimes people are ready to go. They should go in as little pain as possible. I can't imagine spending my last hours on Earth in such horrible pain.
The other two patient's had no reason to die. They were young and could have gotten well. I did a lot to try to help both of them. I called doctor's a lot. I tried everything I could to let other nurse's know that something was going on. But sometimes all we have is intuition; something that no machine or lab test is going to pick up on. And how do you tell a doctor "I just know something is wrong"?? Sometimes there is nothing we can do because there is nothing to be done...even if we think there should be.
Sometimes all of this makes a nurse wonder if it's worth going into work that night-is what they do really going to help another person? Are they going to be alert to slight changes that occur in a patient and catch them fast enough? Is there anything to catch? Or is the inevitable just painfully prolonged?
And then something happens at work that lets the nurse know that she's right where she's meant to be. That maybe you can't help everyone but sometimes you can help more than you think. Sometimes people just need you to be there, to be in the room, to hold their hand, to comfort them, to provide the little bit of care that you don't think much of-but means the world to that patient. Sometimes a nurse knows that she was Born For This.
I like to think that I'm a good nurse. I do all those things that a good nurse does. I use good nursing judgment and help make decisions for the care of these patients. But sometimes things are lurking that can't be avoided. Sometimes not everyone catches everything. And sometimes, I guess it's just time for people to die.
Two of the four patients, although it's hard to say, I'm glad they are finally at peace. They had to struggle with very long illnesses and weren't themselves anymore. I never thought I'd be saying or thinking "Oh thank goodness" when it came to someone's death. But then I think about how sick my Grandma was and I think "Oh thank goodness." People just shouldn't have to suffer.
We had a lady who was dying the other week and she was getting all the Palliative Care treatment, including a lot of pain meds. She was a DNR-Comfort Care and for some reason the nurse's had felt it wasn't appropriate to give her pain meds because her blood pressure was too low. Good nursing judgement physiologically but this poor woman was dying. She was in pain. Sometimes people are afraid to give the meds because they think they are "killing" the patient. But sometimes people are ready to go. They should go in as little pain as possible. I can't imagine spending my last hours on Earth in such horrible pain.
The other two patient's had no reason to die. They were young and could have gotten well. I did a lot to try to help both of them. I called doctor's a lot. I tried everything I could to let other nurse's know that something was going on. But sometimes all we have is intuition; something that no machine or lab test is going to pick up on. And how do you tell a doctor "I just know something is wrong"?? Sometimes there is nothing we can do because there is nothing to be done...even if we think there should be.
Sometimes all of this makes a nurse wonder if it's worth going into work that night-is what they do really going to help another person? Are they going to be alert to slight changes that occur in a patient and catch them fast enough? Is there anything to catch? Or is the inevitable just painfully prolonged?
And then something happens at work that lets the nurse know that she's right where she's meant to be. That maybe you can't help everyone but sometimes you can help more than you think. Sometimes people just need you to be there, to be in the room, to hold their hand, to comfort them, to provide the little bit of care that you don't think much of-but means the world to that patient. Sometimes a nurse knows that she was Born For This.
Friday, May 14, 2010
On My Own
I'm finally off orientation! Sunday was my first day on my own and it went pretty well. Just felt a little overwhelmed for it being my first day. I had three really heavy patients, all in isolation, and they all had something going on. I think I called docs on all three of them that night. And then I worked Monday and that went much better. Not that Sunday was bad or anything just Monday was better.
I came home Tuesday morning, grabbed a couple of hours of sleep and then packed up and headed out for Illinois for my little sister's graduation. I'm so proud of her!! And for so many reasons but to keep embarrassment to a minimum, we'll just say that I'm proud. I got to Illinois around 11 local time on Tuesday night. My new car sure makes the trip easier and more comfortable so I am so very greatful. Rachel got into town on Wednesday and it made Mom's house pretty crowded. Eric didn't get here until Thursday afternoon and I was missing my boys pretty badly. We got a hotel so as to not overcrowd my mom's house anymore and that's where I am now. Got a couple of hours of sleep last night and now I can't sleep anymore. Complication of night shift, I think. I couldn't sleep the last two nights and got very little sleep anyway. Now I slept at night so who knows how I'll be come tomorrow night. This is the first time I've switched back to days and I must say, I don't like it.
You know what else I don't like? People from Illinois. They are the rudest, nastiest people I've ever been around. I'm walking through the door way last night, like actually entering the door, and this lady out of nowhere walks right in front of me, like I wasn't there and never said a word. We had to park a few blocks away and walk to the school, not a problem. But I have little kids that I need to keep out of the street. These people were pushing my kids out of the way...and into the street. People let their kids kick us in the back while we were in the stadium. I know that a certain amount is to be expected but I always correct my kids and have them apologize. Apparently that is not the way they do things in Illinois, they just let their kids kick you as much as they want until you have to turn around and look at the kid yourself and then the parents go, "Oh, was she kicking you?" No "sorry" they just wanted to clarify I guess. Oh, and they weren't shy about hitting us either. Mom must have whacked me with balloons a dozen times. And the best part is, they had the whole row to themselves and could have spaced out.
Ugh. Ok. I feel better now.
So now I'm sitting in the hotel with Eric snoring away next to me. We hardly sleep at the same time anymore so I'm not used to it. I think he has sleep apnea. Actually, I'm sure he does. He just went 30 seconds without breathing and then out comes this giant snore. He's laying on his back; it's better when he's on his side. He doesn't get restful sleep so that's why he's such a grump. Even after 10 hours he's still tired. I'm sure we'll have a pleasant trip home. haha!
Well the boys are starting to toss and turn. It's time for them to wake up. I'm going to spend some time with them and then we're going to go see my brother at his place, my mom at work, and then my sister for her awesome present. :o) Then we're heading home. Who knew that I would miss Ohio so much.
I came home Tuesday morning, grabbed a couple of hours of sleep and then packed up and headed out for Illinois for my little sister's graduation. I'm so proud of her!! And for so many reasons but to keep embarrassment to a minimum, we'll just say that I'm proud. I got to Illinois around 11 local time on Tuesday night. My new car sure makes the trip easier and more comfortable so I am so very greatful. Rachel got into town on Wednesday and it made Mom's house pretty crowded. Eric didn't get here until Thursday afternoon and I was missing my boys pretty badly. We got a hotel so as to not overcrowd my mom's house anymore and that's where I am now. Got a couple of hours of sleep last night and now I can't sleep anymore. Complication of night shift, I think. I couldn't sleep the last two nights and got very little sleep anyway. Now I slept at night so who knows how I'll be come tomorrow night. This is the first time I've switched back to days and I must say, I don't like it.
You know what else I don't like? People from Illinois. They are the rudest, nastiest people I've ever been around. I'm walking through the door way last night, like actually entering the door, and this lady out of nowhere walks right in front of me, like I wasn't there and never said a word. We had to park a few blocks away and walk to the school, not a problem. But I have little kids that I need to keep out of the street. These people were pushing my kids out of the way...and into the street. People let their kids kick us in the back while we were in the stadium. I know that a certain amount is to be expected but I always correct my kids and have them apologize. Apparently that is not the way they do things in Illinois, they just let their kids kick you as much as they want until you have to turn around and look at the kid yourself and then the parents go, "Oh, was she kicking you?" No "sorry" they just wanted to clarify I guess. Oh, and they weren't shy about hitting us either. Mom must have whacked me with balloons a dozen times. And the best part is, they had the whole row to themselves and could have spaced out.
Ugh. Ok. I feel better now.
So now I'm sitting in the hotel with Eric snoring away next to me. We hardly sleep at the same time anymore so I'm not used to it. I think he has sleep apnea. Actually, I'm sure he does. He just went 30 seconds without breathing and then out comes this giant snore. He's laying on his back; it's better when he's on his side. He doesn't get restful sleep so that's why he's such a grump. Even after 10 hours he's still tired. I'm sure we'll have a pleasant trip home. haha!
Well the boys are starting to toss and turn. It's time for them to wake up. I'm going to spend some time with them and then we're going to go see my brother at his place, my mom at work, and then my sister for her awesome present. :o) Then we're heading home. Who knew that I would miss Ohio so much.
Saturday, May 1, 2010
Interesting...
Just some of the interesting things that have happened to me:
Can I have another Ambien?
Sorry the doctor ordered only 1.
Well, you just give him a call and ask him for another.
(Looks at clock...12midnight) Suure...
I want my Ativan at 7, Vicodin at 8, and bring me all of the Morphine (4 mg) at 9. Just wake me up if I'm sleeping, that's fine.
Suure...
NURSE! HEY NUUUURRRRRSSSSE!! (screaming down the hall)
Walking in, Whatcha need?
Just wanted to make sure you could hear me if I needed you.
Guess who got a lesson on the call light?
What kind of hospital doesn't have chocolate ice cream?!
(Ok, since when is it a requirement that hospitals have chocolate ice cream?)
I never should have come to this hospital. All you guys have done since I've been here is poke me and prod me. You won't give me anything for pain or to help me sleep. The nurses run off and never come back. This is a sorry excuse for a hospital.
(Went on doing what I needed to do, the patient just kept going).
And just when are you going to bring me my Percocet??? It was due 3 minutes ago!! I've really had it with this hospital....
Put my head up! Not that high. What's wrong with you? Put it down.
Tell me when it's comfortable.
Right there! OH, you went too far again! You know, this really isn't that difficult. Now put that pillow under my head. No not that pillow, I need the fluffy pillow under my arm and the flatter pillow under my head.
I walked in to a non-isolation room to find my patient wearing an isolation mask.
Me: Honey, you don't have to wear that mask.
Oh, I need it. One of you people are bound to give me a bug!
(Says the lady with community acquired pneumonia.)
I answered the call light at the nurses station:
Me: how can I help you?
I just made a mess! It's everywhere!
Ok, I'll send your PCT in.
Tell 'em to come quick. There's SHIT everywhere!!
(Lo and behold, the PCT went in to find it literally everywhere.)
I walked into a patient's room to find the patient sitting in his chair picking at the stitches that were holding his central line in. Were holding.
He says: Ouch! Ouch! With each tug.
Oh, what happened honey?
I don't know. This thing's not supposed to be here. And it keeps hurting when I do this (and he pulled it again!!)
Well yes it was supposed to be there. Now we have to take it out though. (He had pulled it out about 2 inches).
Oh yeah? Hahahaha! Did I do that?
(I swear!)
Can I get some fresh water?
Sure, is there anything else I can get for you?
No that's it.
Here's your water.
Oh, great. How about some of those graham crackers?
Sure, do you want some peanut butter or anything?
No, just the crackers.
Here's the crackers.
Thank you. I meant to ask for some jello too.
(Sigh.)
I think that patient's tend to forget that health care workers are fallible and forgetful at times as well. They don't mind when they forget and ask for something else even after we have already asked. They don't mind sending us out of the room several times in what could have been one trip. But they sure do get upset when we forget to bring the graham crackers they asked for. I'm not trying to be rude about it at all. I love my job and I love taking care of patients but sometimes you just have to laugh. ;o)
Can I have another Ambien?
Sorry the doctor ordered only 1.
Well, you just give him a call and ask him for another.
(Looks at clock...12midnight) Suure...
I want my Ativan at 7, Vicodin at 8, and bring me all of the Morphine (4 mg) at 9. Just wake me up if I'm sleeping, that's fine.
Suure...
NURSE! HEY NUUUURRRRRSSSSE!! (screaming down the hall)
Walking in, Whatcha need?
Just wanted to make sure you could hear me if I needed you.
Guess who got a lesson on the call light?
What kind of hospital doesn't have chocolate ice cream?!
(Ok, since when is it a requirement that hospitals have chocolate ice cream?)
I never should have come to this hospital. All you guys have done since I've been here is poke me and prod me. You won't give me anything for pain or to help me sleep. The nurses run off and never come back. This is a sorry excuse for a hospital.
(Went on doing what I needed to do, the patient just kept going).
And just when are you going to bring me my Percocet??? It was due 3 minutes ago!! I've really had it with this hospital....
Put my head up! Not that high. What's wrong with you? Put it down.
Tell me when it's comfortable.
Right there! OH, you went too far again! You know, this really isn't that difficult. Now put that pillow under my head. No not that pillow, I need the fluffy pillow under my arm and the flatter pillow under my head.
I walked in to a non-isolation room to find my patient wearing an isolation mask.
Me: Honey, you don't have to wear that mask.
Oh, I need it. One of you people are bound to give me a bug!
(Says the lady with community acquired pneumonia.)
I answered the call light at the nurses station:
Me: how can I help you?
I just made a mess! It's everywhere!
Ok, I'll send your PCT in.
Tell 'em to come quick. There's SHIT everywhere!!
(Lo and behold, the PCT went in to find it literally everywhere.)
I walked into a patient's room to find the patient sitting in his chair picking at the stitches that were holding his central line in. Were holding.
He says: Ouch! Ouch! With each tug.
Oh, what happened honey?
I don't know. This thing's not supposed to be here. And it keeps hurting when I do this (and he pulled it again!!)
Well yes it was supposed to be there. Now we have to take it out though. (He had pulled it out about 2 inches).
Oh yeah? Hahahaha! Did I do that?
(I swear!)
Can I get some fresh water?
Sure, is there anything else I can get for you?
No that's it.
Here's your water.
Oh, great. How about some of those graham crackers?
Sure, do you want some peanut butter or anything?
No, just the crackers.
Here's the crackers.
Thank you. I meant to ask for some jello too.
(Sigh.)
I think that patient's tend to forget that health care workers are fallible and forgetful at times as well. They don't mind when they forget and ask for something else even after we have already asked. They don't mind sending us out of the room several times in what could have been one trip. But they sure do get upset when we forget to bring the graham crackers they asked for. I'm not trying to be rude about it at all. I love my job and I love taking care of patients but sometimes you just have to laugh. ;o)
Friday, April 23, 2010
Ramblings of Night Nurse
I'm half way done with night shift orientation-so far so good. I had my first rough night on Monday. I've had days where I just couldn't wait to get home but Monday night was something else. I wanted to tear out of that place. I wanted to scream. I wanted to cry. I wanted to call all of my best nursing friends and say, "I know it's 9 in the morning, but let's have a beer."
I picked up my team at 2300 instead of 1900 because we were going to a unit council meeting after report in the morning. I think that's where the trouble started; you just don't get in the right groove when you do that. You've missed the first assessment and you're actually coming in at a relatively busy time on the unit, especially when you have the heavier patients. I had one easy patient, she was already asleep and just needed assessments and meds and pain meds every four. I had one to come and two in isolation down the other hall. One is unresponsive and is a complete care and the other was doing well...until we found out we needed to start blood on her. So I start calling docs and putting in orders for type and crossmatch and transfuse 2 units PRBC's. They didn't type and cross until 0100 and then the blood wasn't ready til 0230, which was in the middle of my admission (with a heparin drip) for my 'to come'...about the time I was getting ready to go get the blood, something happened that caused me to have to rush down to blood bank and get the blood and rush back up and start the blood. My lunch (lunch is more scheduled on nights because of the cafeteria only being open from 0145-0345) didn't start until 0330 and then I ate as quick as I could to get back to everything. As soon as I got back, my other patient's PEG tube was clogged and we had to fix that. I got so busy and just trying to stay caught up, I forgot to draw labs on one of them and that put my even further behind. I didn't get off the unit until almost 0800. Just a lot of little things-and a few big things-that added up to make me very frustrated and very flustered.
But I went back on Wednesday night. And Thursday night. And since my preceptor was team leader she tweaked the assignment so I'd have at least one of the heavier patients I had before. I got the unresponsive one who began having blood pressure issues on Wednesday around 1500. They bolused and she was ok. Until 2100. Sigh. So all I did all night was do one bolus after another, trendelenburg and back up, BP checks every 3-5 minutes, all that fun stuff. I had the same team Thursday night and it went much more smoothly. Thank goodness.
I like 6SAC. ICU step down is great. We do have some patient's that aren't appropriate for the unit, either too medically stable or not stable enough but sometimes we can't transfer them out. Seems like people go bad on nights the most. But 6SAC is great because there aren't a lot of ego problems; nights wraps up what they can and so does days and no one is blaming anyone else for anything that wasn't done. Nights does a lot of the "housekeeping" type of stuff. Making sure that things are ready to go for days, paper work, strips are ready to be printed, people are cleaned up for the day shift since they tend to be busier. And I found out that I can apply to ICU (in a year, of course) and only do 6-10 weeks of orientation. That's all 6SAC nurses usually need. The other units have to do 6-12 months. Yikes!
Life is different on nights. I can't do the switching back and forth very well. My goal on my nights off is usually to go to bed around 0300 but this last week it's been 0600 which is kind of irritating. I sleep all day. I eat one meal while I'm at work and eat a piece of toast before. I drink a ton of water and lots of Amp and Diet Dr Pepper. But I wake up when the kids get home and see them for about an hour before work. I'm not as rushed. I have been able to go to swim lessons and play outside with them pretty much every day. The house is quiet while I do school work at midnight. I get all the laundry and dishes done while they're sleeping. I just wish Eric would put it away-it's hard to put laundry away in the dark when everyone is sleeping. haha! The worst part is feeling lonely. No one else is awake and most of my friends are day shift so I don't have anyone to call at 0200 when I feel like chatting.
School is going well. 100% in Sociology so far and a 98% in my NSG class at OU and I just have one more week of that class. Then I have a week off and start my Nursing Management course and continue on for a few more weeks of Sociology. I'll be so glad when that class is over. It's more work than my 5 credit hour nursing class, which I find to be quite ridiculous. I think I'll stick to just Nursing for a little while and fit my nutrition and English in at a later date. One year and I can have my BSN. :o)
One final thought-
Note to self: make sure my husband and family know that I am to be a DNR if I ever become unresponsive d/t brain injury. Do not, ever, trach me, PEG me, and leave me at a nursing facility. Do not stick a foley and dignicare in me; unless it's for comfort. I'm all about palliative care. Do not make me a full code if I have had a cardiac arrest that leaves me with an anoxic brain injury that leaves me unresponsive. What was the point in bringing me back the first time, let alone a second? Do not let me grow hairs on my chin-this is more of a general statement. If I am 100 years old sitting around my house, somebody better bring the tweezers over and take care of the old bearded lady. The do's: Please do help me put make up on when I'm old and have lipstick on my teeth. Send me to hospice if I'm terminally ill or unresponsive. Tell the nurses what I like to do at home. Come play music for me. Tell me stories. Bring pictures. Bring old friends to say good-bye. Say a prayer if you like. And when I die, please donate my organs. Donate my body to the med students or hang my skeleton in a class room somewhere. Let something good come from my death.
More night nurse ramblings coming soon...
I picked up my team at 2300 instead of 1900 because we were going to a unit council meeting after report in the morning. I think that's where the trouble started; you just don't get in the right groove when you do that. You've missed the first assessment and you're actually coming in at a relatively busy time on the unit, especially when you have the heavier patients. I had one easy patient, she was already asleep and just needed assessments and meds and pain meds every four. I had one to come and two in isolation down the other hall. One is unresponsive and is a complete care and the other was doing well...until we found out we needed to start blood on her. So I start calling docs and putting in orders for type and crossmatch and transfuse 2 units PRBC's. They didn't type and cross until 0100 and then the blood wasn't ready til 0230, which was in the middle of my admission (with a heparin drip) for my 'to come'...about the time I was getting ready to go get the blood, something happened that caused me to have to rush down to blood bank and get the blood and rush back up and start the blood. My lunch (lunch is more scheduled on nights because of the cafeteria only being open from 0145-0345) didn't start until 0330 and then I ate as quick as I could to get back to everything. As soon as I got back, my other patient's PEG tube was clogged and we had to fix that. I got so busy and just trying to stay caught up, I forgot to draw labs on one of them and that put my even further behind. I didn't get off the unit until almost 0800. Just a lot of little things-and a few big things-that added up to make me very frustrated and very flustered.
But I went back on Wednesday night. And Thursday night. And since my preceptor was team leader she tweaked the assignment so I'd have at least one of the heavier patients I had before. I got the unresponsive one who began having blood pressure issues on Wednesday around 1500. They bolused and she was ok. Until 2100. Sigh. So all I did all night was do one bolus after another, trendelenburg and back up, BP checks every 3-5 minutes, all that fun stuff. I had the same team Thursday night and it went much more smoothly. Thank goodness.
I like 6SAC. ICU step down is great. We do have some patient's that aren't appropriate for the unit, either too medically stable or not stable enough but sometimes we can't transfer them out. Seems like people go bad on nights the most. But 6SAC is great because there aren't a lot of ego problems; nights wraps up what they can and so does days and no one is blaming anyone else for anything that wasn't done. Nights does a lot of the "housekeeping" type of stuff. Making sure that things are ready to go for days, paper work, strips are ready to be printed, people are cleaned up for the day shift since they tend to be busier. And I found out that I can apply to ICU (in a year, of course) and only do 6-10 weeks of orientation. That's all 6SAC nurses usually need. The other units have to do 6-12 months. Yikes!
Life is different on nights. I can't do the switching back and forth very well. My goal on my nights off is usually to go to bed around 0300 but this last week it's been 0600 which is kind of irritating. I sleep all day. I eat one meal while I'm at work and eat a piece of toast before. I drink a ton of water and lots of Amp and Diet Dr Pepper. But I wake up when the kids get home and see them for about an hour before work. I'm not as rushed. I have been able to go to swim lessons and play outside with them pretty much every day. The house is quiet while I do school work at midnight. I get all the laundry and dishes done while they're sleeping. I just wish Eric would put it away-it's hard to put laundry away in the dark when everyone is sleeping. haha! The worst part is feeling lonely. No one else is awake and most of my friends are day shift so I don't have anyone to call at 0200 when I feel like chatting.
School is going well. 100% in Sociology so far and a 98% in my NSG class at OU and I just have one more week of that class. Then I have a week off and start my Nursing Management course and continue on for a few more weeks of Sociology. I'll be so glad when that class is over. It's more work than my 5 credit hour nursing class, which I find to be quite ridiculous. I think I'll stick to just Nursing for a little while and fit my nutrition and English in at a later date. One year and I can have my BSN. :o)
One final thought-
Note to self: make sure my husband and family know that I am to be a DNR if I ever become unresponsive d/t brain injury. Do not, ever, trach me, PEG me, and leave me at a nursing facility. Do not stick a foley and dignicare in me; unless it's for comfort. I'm all about palliative care. Do not make me a full code if I have had a cardiac arrest that leaves me with an anoxic brain injury that leaves me unresponsive. What was the point in bringing me back the first time, let alone a second? Do not let me grow hairs on my chin-this is more of a general statement. If I am 100 years old sitting around my house, somebody better bring the tweezers over and take care of the old bearded lady. The do's: Please do help me put make up on when I'm old and have lipstick on my teeth. Send me to hospice if I'm terminally ill or unresponsive. Tell the nurses what I like to do at home. Come play music for me. Tell me stories. Bring pictures. Bring old friends to say good-bye. Say a prayer if you like. And when I die, please donate my organs. Donate my body to the med students or hang my skeleton in a class room somewhere. Let something good come from my death.
More night nurse ramblings coming soon...
Monday, April 5, 2010
A little of this, a little of that
So my life has been a crazy mess for the last week. Last Monday I worked 7a-730p, had a job interview at 2p and started classes at Ohio University and Sinclair. I found out that my Sinclair class had due dates of Friday mornings at 0800...well, I had class Tuesday and worked my 12's on Thursday and Friday which gave me one day to get a weeks worth of work done. I don't know how I did it, but I did! I'm now slowly progressing through week 2. My NSG course at OU is pretty straightforward-I'm sure Amber will be pleased to know that.
On the upside, I knew in the interview that I had the job. And it became official by Wednesday morning. :0)
So, in about a week I'll be starting my position on 6SAC (6 South Advanced Care)...on nights. Dun dun dun!! I'm nervous about getting sleep during the day but I suppose it'll all work out, it'll just take time. You can do anything for a year, right? And the extra pay will surely be nice. The plan is to work every Saturday and Sunday night and then a Wednesday or Thursday. That's even more money. Gotta get a new car!!
Mommy Update:
Austin finally came out of Terrible Two's to enter the even more Terrible Three's. He has decided that "I don't care" is his favorite phrase...after, only, "You want a piece of me, Punk?!" Which I have no clue where he got that from. He can also spell his name and he can count to 36. Do not prompt him to count higher because he will get mad and ask you the above mentioned new favorite phrase. Well, either one of them really. Funny story though: We were out to dinner with grandma and as soon as we got there, I took him to the bathroom. We were getting ready to leave and some how according to Eric's logic, it was my turn (??? can someone explain that one to me???) again. So I tried to take him. He stops in front of me, puts his hands up and says "NO! Just my Gamma take me!" Alrighty then. Gamma takes him and she comes back giggling and all I can think is OMG, what did he do now? She says that he didn't want to go potty but wanted to play in the sink so she decided to go while he washed his hands. As she turned to sit on the toilet, Austin turned and said "OH GAMMA! What a big butt you have!!" And then went back to washing his hands. So now my mother in law is known as Gamma with the big butt. Kids say the darndest things, right? (I swear, I did not prompt him to say bad things about his grandma!!)
Ryan is doing well in school. His teacher thought maybe he didn't like her because he's always so serious. She was quite worried, because she really likes him and tries to do special things for him because he is always so good and he does everything he's supposed to do. So when she has to move his boat (their warning signs, like getting your name put on the board) she has a tough time with it. And Ryan remembers everything anyone has ever said to him. He still talks about how I put him in time-out one time and he didn't even do anything. Well, at the time I didn't know that and I apologized later but I guess I need to apologize for the rest of my life. I thought he was doing so much better. Eric and I joke a lot but Ryan always has taken things so seriously. He's finally started joking back and saying stuff like, "I know you're just kidding me." It's been a lot of fun. Ryan is on Spring Break this week-I'm taking him to day care tomorrow so I can catch up on school work and then he's staying home with me all day Thursday and going to Grandma and Papa's house on Friday. He's pretty excited. He's also quite excited about becoming a soldier. It's all he talks about. He's only 6. And this soldier kick isn't going away, it's already been here for two years.
A good reminder of why I love being a nurse:
Holding my patients' hands. It's the best feeling in the world. Not just for me either, but for them. It's not for every patient; but for those who benefit from it, it makes all the difference in the world to them. A lot of times, it's the older female who needs it most. They are very scared and feel so out of control. Just sitting down and talking to them does a lot. I can't do it with every patient and I can't do it every day. But if I feel like my patient really needs it, then I deal with the consequences of trying to catch up. Charting vitals every hour is not what is best for my patient, but making sure they are safe and comforted is. How's this for the day from hell: 4 patients and three of them have MRI's that day-one at 0830 (I get report at 0730) and the other at 1000. The third has not been scheduled and I have to complete the questionnaire. Along with a patient with discharge pending physical therapy (and a few other minor details), 0800 assessments and morning meds. The phone never stopped ringing and my pending d/c patient was not very nice. But I did it. I made it through the day. And without pulling my hair out. Woot! And I still had time to stop and answer her questions and hold her hand while she cried. Man, I love this job. Or is it profession? Question of the week for NSG class last week-is nursing a profession or job? What is the distinction and why?
Well, I had planned on writing some of my paper but it's almost done anyway so I think I'll spare myself tonight and finish it up tomorrow morning. Guess I'll read my Sookie Stackhouse book instead. Finally on book 6! Gotta hurry up cause book 9 is coming out this month and book 10 will be out in May. They are easy reads and a great way to get my mind off the rest of this crazy world.
On the upside, I knew in the interview that I had the job. And it became official by Wednesday morning. :0)
So, in about a week I'll be starting my position on 6SAC (6 South Advanced Care)...on nights. Dun dun dun!! I'm nervous about getting sleep during the day but I suppose it'll all work out, it'll just take time. You can do anything for a year, right? And the extra pay will surely be nice. The plan is to work every Saturday and Sunday night and then a Wednesday or Thursday. That's even more money. Gotta get a new car!!
Mommy Update:
Austin finally came out of Terrible Two's to enter the even more Terrible Three's. He has decided that "I don't care" is his favorite phrase...after, only, "You want a piece of me, Punk?!" Which I have no clue where he got that from. He can also spell his name and he can count to 36. Do not prompt him to count higher because he will get mad and ask you the above mentioned new favorite phrase. Well, either one of them really. Funny story though: We were out to dinner with grandma and as soon as we got there, I took him to the bathroom. We were getting ready to leave and some how according to Eric's logic, it was my turn (??? can someone explain that one to me???) again. So I tried to take him. He stops in front of me, puts his hands up and says "NO! Just my Gamma take me!" Alrighty then. Gamma takes him and she comes back giggling and all I can think is OMG, what did he do now? She says that he didn't want to go potty but wanted to play in the sink so she decided to go while he washed his hands. As she turned to sit on the toilet, Austin turned and said "OH GAMMA! What a big butt you have!!" And then went back to washing his hands. So now my mother in law is known as Gamma with the big butt. Kids say the darndest things, right? (I swear, I did not prompt him to say bad things about his grandma!!)
Ryan is doing well in school. His teacher thought maybe he didn't like her because he's always so serious. She was quite worried, because she really likes him and tries to do special things for him because he is always so good and he does everything he's supposed to do. So when she has to move his boat (their warning signs, like getting your name put on the board) she has a tough time with it. And Ryan remembers everything anyone has ever said to him. He still talks about how I put him in time-out one time and he didn't even do anything. Well, at the time I didn't know that and I apologized later but I guess I need to apologize for the rest of my life. I thought he was doing so much better. Eric and I joke a lot but Ryan always has taken things so seriously. He's finally started joking back and saying stuff like, "I know you're just kidding me." It's been a lot of fun. Ryan is on Spring Break this week-I'm taking him to day care tomorrow so I can catch up on school work and then he's staying home with me all day Thursday and going to Grandma and Papa's house on Friday. He's pretty excited. He's also quite excited about becoming a soldier. It's all he talks about. He's only 6. And this soldier kick isn't going away, it's already been here for two years.
A good reminder of why I love being a nurse:
Holding my patients' hands. It's the best feeling in the world. Not just for me either, but for them. It's not for every patient; but for those who benefit from it, it makes all the difference in the world to them. A lot of times, it's the older female who needs it most. They are very scared and feel so out of control. Just sitting down and talking to them does a lot. I can't do it with every patient and I can't do it every day. But if I feel like my patient really needs it, then I deal with the consequences of trying to catch up. Charting vitals every hour is not what is best for my patient, but making sure they are safe and comforted is. How's this for the day from hell: 4 patients and three of them have MRI's that day-one at 0830 (I get report at 0730) and the other at 1000. The third has not been scheduled and I have to complete the questionnaire. Along with a patient with discharge pending physical therapy (and a few other minor details), 0800 assessments and morning meds. The phone never stopped ringing and my pending d/c patient was not very nice. But I did it. I made it through the day. And without pulling my hair out. Woot! And I still had time to stop and answer her questions and hold her hand while she cried. Man, I love this job. Or is it profession? Question of the week for NSG class last week-is nursing a profession or job? What is the distinction and why?
Well, I had planned on writing some of my paper but it's almost done anyway so I think I'll spare myself tonight and finish it up tomorrow morning. Guess I'll read my Sookie Stackhouse book instead. Finally on book 6! Gotta hurry up cause book 9 is coming out this month and book 10 will be out in May. They are easy reads and a great way to get my mind off the rest of this crazy world.
Monday, March 22, 2010
Health Care
I tend to just keep my mouth shut as Health Care has become more about politics and which side you're on than about providing care to people, but seeing as this bill is happening I must say something.
Health care isn't perfect-it's far from perfect but I don't see where this bill helps correct the problem. They are "fixing" a problem and creating many, many more. I just can't see where the math adds up to make this better than what we have now.
Coming from the perspective of a nurse, this is what I see:
Many doctor's are going to leave the profession, the workload would be too great and the taxes too high to continue (see this article: http://www.cnsnews.com/news/print/62812), I've talked to a few docs at the hospital who would agree with this statement. So doctors leave and we have more patients flooding the hospitals-yes, the problems will continue in ER with people receiving their health care there because those docs that are leaving are GP's-so private physicians are gone. Where else do you go then? ER. While the Dayton area has been flooded with nurses, it is a temporary increase and the rest of the country isn't experiencing this-they are still in a nursing shortage. So now we have few doctors AND fewer nurses (and smaller paychecks for the nurses who are left, I'm sure) but MORE patients to care for. What does that mean? Well, in Advanced Care (step down ICU) we take 3-4 patient's depending on severity and work load of the patients. If we have fewer nurses then the nurse:patient ratio changes; nurses will carry a heavier team.
Nursing is a hard job, there is so much to think about and caring for 3-4 patients (and on Med Surg floors it's 5-6 patients) is difficult. We want the best for our patients. We want them to be safe, we don't want sentinel events, we don't want to miss something because we're behind and we're trying to catch up. I know for me, I like to know about my patients and their families. It's not just assess patient, pass meds, document, repeat. Not for me. I talk to my patients, I learn about them and spend time with them. I love getting to spend time with families. It's especially comforting for me to spend time with family members of someone who is critical or who is dying. And it's a great joy to take care of someone who has gotten well and comes back to tell you "thank you." It's the best part of my job. I hate to think that this will be taken away because I'll be caring for 5 or more patients on a daily basis. There won't be enough time. I know some people wouldn't think that's important but nurses treat the whole person-mind, body and soul (or mental, physical and spiritual, if you prefer) and I'll feel like such a bad nurse if I don't.
Not to mention that if you give these nurses heavier assignments that they'll get burnt out and leave the profession, giving us an even bigger shortage. And do you think many people will be waiting to become a nurse then? Sinclair won't have a waiting list for it's nursing program anymore, that's for sure.
I'm not saying we don't need changes to the way insurance companies practice and run health care. But I'm saying this is such a drastic way to change. I don't understand why we can't do little steps? Allow the purchase of insurance across state lines for starters. Don't tax people who don't have "acceptable" coverage (see house bill here: http://docs.house.gov/rules/health/111_ahcaa.pdf p 8 subpart A) {On a side note, I did hear that surrogates will be required to be covered under all insurance plans...not sure if that's a good idea or not...you'll start seeing surrogate companies pop up all over the place and a lot of people who shouldn't be doing it will be}.
Well, that's all I can post for now. Will follow up soon though. I'm still trying to read this stupid bill. It takes awhile! :D
More soon...
Health care isn't perfect-it's far from perfect but I don't see where this bill helps correct the problem. They are "fixing" a problem and creating many, many more. I just can't see where the math adds up to make this better than what we have now.
Coming from the perspective of a nurse, this is what I see:
Many doctor's are going to leave the profession, the workload would be too great and the taxes too high to continue (see this article: http://www.cnsnews.com/news/print/62812), I've talked to a few docs at the hospital who would agree with this statement. So doctors leave and we have more patients flooding the hospitals-yes, the problems will continue in ER with people receiving their health care there because those docs that are leaving are GP's-so private physicians are gone. Where else do you go then? ER. While the Dayton area has been flooded with nurses, it is a temporary increase and the rest of the country isn't experiencing this-they are still in a nursing shortage. So now we have few doctors AND fewer nurses (and smaller paychecks for the nurses who are left, I'm sure) but MORE patients to care for. What does that mean? Well, in Advanced Care (step down ICU) we take 3-4 patient's depending on severity and work load of the patients. If we have fewer nurses then the nurse:patient ratio changes; nurses will carry a heavier team.
Nursing is a hard job, there is so much to think about and caring for 3-4 patients (and on Med Surg floors it's 5-6 patients) is difficult. We want the best for our patients. We want them to be safe, we don't want sentinel events, we don't want to miss something because we're behind and we're trying to catch up. I know for me, I like to know about my patients and their families. It's not just assess patient, pass meds, document, repeat. Not for me. I talk to my patients, I learn about them and spend time with them. I love getting to spend time with families. It's especially comforting for me to spend time with family members of someone who is critical or who is dying. And it's a great joy to take care of someone who has gotten well and comes back to tell you "thank you." It's the best part of my job. I hate to think that this will be taken away because I'll be caring for 5 or more patients on a daily basis. There won't be enough time. I know some people wouldn't think that's important but nurses treat the whole person-mind, body and soul (or mental, physical and spiritual, if you prefer) and I'll feel like such a bad nurse if I don't.
Not to mention that if you give these nurses heavier assignments that they'll get burnt out and leave the profession, giving us an even bigger shortage. And do you think many people will be waiting to become a nurse then? Sinclair won't have a waiting list for it's nursing program anymore, that's for sure.
I'm not saying we don't need changes to the way insurance companies practice and run health care. But I'm saying this is such a drastic way to change. I don't understand why we can't do little steps? Allow the purchase of insurance across state lines for starters. Don't tax people who don't have "acceptable" coverage (see house bill here: http://docs.house.gov/rules/health/111_ahcaa.pdf p 8 subpart A) {On a side note, I did hear that surrogates will be required to be covered under all insurance plans...not sure if that's a good idea or not...you'll start seeing surrogate companies pop up all over the place and a lot of people who shouldn't be doing it will be}.
Well, that's all I can post for now. Will follow up soon though. I'm still trying to read this stupid bill. It takes awhile! :D
More soon...
Sunday, March 7, 2010
Anniversary
What a great weekend! I had class til about 3 on Friday, came home and got ready for our night out. I bought a new dress to wear-deep teal-and wore it with my new short trench coat from Marshall's. Felt nice to dress up. :o) My MiL was supposed to be here at 1630 but didn't make it til almost 1700 so by the time we got to The Cheesecake Factory we had a one hour wait but since we went to The Greene, we walked next door to Bath & Body Works, then to Kay's Jewelers. I found the perfect ring for me!! So excited-and for a lot less than I was afraid it was going to be so I'm even more excited. Don't know when we're going to get it, still want to look around and see what else is out there.
Anyway, dinner was very good but portion was huge and I took home 2/3 of it! When we left we headed for Richmond (with the plan of stopping at iHop for breakfast in the morning) to stay at a hotel. We got a room with jacuzzi, which was fabulous after the very long week we both had! We slept in, which was great, but slept in so much that iHop was packed by the time we got there. Maybe in a few weeks we'll make a quick trip over there. So we came home. It was the perfect time for us! Nothing busy or rushed; just relaxing and enjoyable. I loved it.
We came home to a very messy house that I got cleaned up nicely over the weekend. Ryan stayed at Grandma's on Saturday night and that gave us some time with just Austin. <3 We never get time alone with either of the boys so when the occasion comes up we take full advantage. I let him pick out a new toy and new pair of shoes. He even got some Toy Story bed sheets. He was the happiest little boy in the world, I think. Came home and played for awhile before bed. I'm trying to think of something we can do with Ryan on his Spring Break-he always loves the Air Force Museum so that might be just the ticket! I just need to figure out how to get some more of those "lunchables" that Seth had! haha! Can't believe how much he liked that thing.
Well, I think I'll be applying to 6SAC-I wanted to go for it and apply to Coronary but I just want to transition well through things, take my time and if I get to CICU then I get there. Advanced Care (6SAC) is a wonderful unit to start on. Unfortunately, the only jobs open anywhere in the hospital are on nights. Hopefully it will only be for 6 months to a year. I can handle that. Eric likes that idea better but I'm not sure why. I'm especially worried with our house being so small-how will I sleep on weekends??? And Eric will have to take time off for sick days and school vacation days anyway (at least on days I work). We'll figure it out. And the extra 10% will be nice for sure.
This week won't be quite as busy: class on Monday, work Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday. I start Neuro on Monday and unfortunately with the way her schedule falls, I work next weekend too. Once again, the extra money will be nice, but I'm going to be beat! I am actually hoping to talk to one of my educators and see if I can just apply to 6SAC and stay there and not finish out the internship on Neuro. We all know I won't want to stay there. haha! My goal for this week is to make it to the gym Monday, Wednesday and Friday and hit the park track on Sunday if it's not raining. I am aiming for -3#. I'm doing pretty good but this weekend (pasta and cheesecake, even if it was only half of each) took it's toll! I don't have too many errands to run this week so maybe I'll get to catch up with my girls on Wednesday or Friday? We'll see.
Here's to a wonderful week!
Anyway, dinner was very good but portion was huge and I took home 2/3 of it! When we left we headed for Richmond (with the plan of stopping at iHop for breakfast in the morning) to stay at a hotel. We got a room with jacuzzi, which was fabulous after the very long week we both had! We slept in, which was great, but slept in so much that iHop was packed by the time we got there. Maybe in a few weeks we'll make a quick trip over there. So we came home. It was the perfect time for us! Nothing busy or rushed; just relaxing and enjoyable. I loved it.
We came home to a very messy house that I got cleaned up nicely over the weekend. Ryan stayed at Grandma's on Saturday night and that gave us some time with just Austin. <3 We never get time alone with either of the boys so when the occasion comes up we take full advantage. I let him pick out a new toy and new pair of shoes. He even got some Toy Story bed sheets. He was the happiest little boy in the world, I think. Came home and played for awhile before bed. I'm trying to think of something we can do with Ryan on his Spring Break-he always loves the Air Force Museum so that might be just the ticket! I just need to figure out how to get some more of those "lunchables" that Seth had! haha! Can't believe how much he liked that thing.
Well, I think I'll be applying to 6SAC-I wanted to go for it and apply to Coronary but I just want to transition well through things, take my time and if I get to CICU then I get there. Advanced Care (6SAC) is a wonderful unit to start on. Unfortunately, the only jobs open anywhere in the hospital are on nights. Hopefully it will only be for 6 months to a year. I can handle that. Eric likes that idea better but I'm not sure why. I'm especially worried with our house being so small-how will I sleep on weekends??? And Eric will have to take time off for sick days and school vacation days anyway (at least on days I work). We'll figure it out. And the extra 10% will be nice for sure.
This week won't be quite as busy: class on Monday, work Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday. I start Neuro on Monday and unfortunately with the way her schedule falls, I work next weekend too. Once again, the extra money will be nice, but I'm going to be beat! I am actually hoping to talk to one of my educators and see if I can just apply to 6SAC and stay there and not finish out the internship on Neuro. We all know I won't want to stay there. haha! My goal for this week is to make it to the gym Monday, Wednesday and Friday and hit the park track on Sunday if it's not raining. I am aiming for -3#. I'm doing pretty good but this weekend (pasta and cheesecake, even if it was only half of each) took it's toll! I don't have too many errands to run this week so maybe I'll get to catch up with my girls on Wednesday or Friday? We'll see.
Here's to a wonderful week!
Monday, March 1, 2010
What is your deal?
We went to the Y tonight right after work, I still had my uniform on and it reminded me to ask them about a discount for being an employee at MVH. I asked front desk girl and the Director of Marketing (aka being a giant whore to get her job) or Employee Relations or some made up job title, said, "what did she ask?" Ok, I'm standing right there. Then she says "you can just come over here and talk to me." So I very nicely went over and smiled and said that I had been told that the Y was one of the places I could use my employee discount (by one of the YMCA employees, BTW) and now that I was full time I'd like to look into it. She looked up my acct and starts by saying "You're right where you should be." Ok, that's fine. "Why did you not have this discount set up before? Didn't you know you could do that?" (Do you know how hard it is for me to have someone talk to me like an idiot. I have to try very hard not to get kicked out of places.) I told her I wasn't FT before and was told by someone that after FT status I could get the discount.
Continuing on, "you're account is being charged at the reduced rate since you made less than $40,000 and you're not eligible for a discount. You're already reduced." Great, thank you for the information. Thank you for also making me feel like poor white trash. She said, "IF (and she did place that much emphasis on the word) you start making more than $60,000 a year (which, dare I tell her that I make more than Eric now? haha! AND Eric has gotten a few raises since we signed up) then you'll be eligible for a 10% discount." Fabulous. That's all I wanted to know. Why so bitchy about it?? She wouldn't look me in the eye, she talked down to me. Seriously? Why such a bitch? I thought, gee, it'd be great to come in here in a few weeks and be like "BAM!" We make more than $60,000 now, please kiss my behind. Thanks! Then I remembered, it goes off of this past years W2's. I get the reduced rate for another two years anyway. Guess I'll get my "BAM!" moment in two years.
For the record, didn't like her before, definitely don't like her now, and she really did sleep with her boss to get her job.
Continuing on, "you're account is being charged at the reduced rate since you made less than $40,000 and you're not eligible for a discount. You're already reduced." Great, thank you for the information. Thank you for also making me feel like poor white trash. She said, "IF (and she did place that much emphasis on the word) you start making more than $60,000 a year (which, dare I tell her that I make more than Eric now? haha! AND Eric has gotten a few raises since we signed up) then you'll be eligible for a 10% discount." Fabulous. That's all I wanted to know. Why so bitchy about it?? She wouldn't look me in the eye, she talked down to me. Seriously? Why such a bitch? I thought, gee, it'd be great to come in here in a few weeks and be like "BAM!" We make more than $60,000 now, please kiss my behind. Thanks! Then I remembered, it goes off of this past years W2's. I get the reduced rate for another two years anyway. Guess I'll get my "BAM!" moment in two years.
For the record, didn't like her before, definitely don't like her now, and she really did sleep with her boss to get her job.
Sunday, February 28, 2010
All kinds of stuff...
I've started my new rotation on Advanced Care...not bad, very busy but they are very sick patients. I enjoy it but there is not nearly enough heart stuff. I was so excited when one of my pts came back from an angiography and had had a fem line pulled...finally, something I can work with! hahaha! Had a couple of firsts occur this week but none I can speak of here.
Our anniversary is on Friday and we had planned on getting new rings but d/t an unforeseen circumstance with the car, we will not be able to. So now I have to find something to get Eric and only Wednesday to shop for it! I have class on Monday and Friday and I'm working on Tuesday and Thursday. (42 scheduled hours this week!) I can't believe it's been 7 years. You don't see how long it's been; like with kids, you see how they grow over the years...marriages aren't like that. I can't look at a picture of us from 5 years ago and "see" how we've grown. I guess that's why it's so hard to believe that we've been married for 7 years and how his parents can't believe they've been married for 40+ years. With the boys I'm even startled sometimes...we got a pair of pants a few years ago from my SIL and I thought, "gee, Ryan is never going to fit in those." Well, he barely does now, already ready to outgrow them. :o) I just can't wait to see what the next year, next seven years, next seventeen years will bring us.
This past Wednesday I got to have lunch with Amber and Jennifer, Mindy and Stacy were working/had just gotten off of work. After lunch the three of us went to Target and shopped around-had a wonderful time! Got to see Amber's themes throughout her house. It's going to be so nice and I'm so excited for her. Jennifer had to go home after that but Amber and I went to Marshall's where I bought a $380 short trench coat (Vertigo Paris) for $40 and my first Aigner purse for $30! So excited to use it this spring! The coat is stunning! And the lining is so soft!! It's kind of lame how excited I am about this. hahaha! Anyway, I had such a good time with them. I miss seeing them as often as I used to. I guess I just got spoiled being in school.
Surrogacy update: I am moving forward with another company. No clue on when I would be able to carry for a couple as they would have to buy the insurance for me but at least it's a possibility. I'm so excited!
Something happened at work this week. Very ill man, DNR, family having trouble dealing, the works. They prayed. I'm pretty open in the fact that I'm agnostic. I believe in God but not they way most people do. I can't not believe that there is something bigger than myself, something that is too great for me to understand. But I don't believe in heaven or hell, in prayer, some guy watching me up in the sky, etc. I don't mean to be crass or put down another person's belief's, at the end you'll see it's quite the opposite. See, I don't believe in these things myself, but I believe in them for my patients, their families, my friends and my family. I found such comfort that my patient and family found comfort in believing. I didn't feel like everything was going to be okay in the sense that he would live but that he could die peacefully and his family could cope in a way that was healing for them. I think when I say I'm agnostic people take it as I don't believe in anything. But I guess what I believe in is peace for yourself, whatever it is you take comfort in. I appreciate my friends praying for me (though, I didn't always) because I know they care and they find comfort in prayer. I hope this is all making sense. Religion always gets so complicated and I'm trying to describe it on a very basic level.
Well, I suppose I should call it a night soon. That 42 hours is going to be rough to get through...but at least I have three days off after that. And Friday night I get a date night with my hubby. <3 Nothing fancy, of course, because that's just not us. We are going to Red Robin, movies and maybe a hotel for the evening. We sure could use time by ourselves.
Our anniversary is on Friday and we had planned on getting new rings but d/t an unforeseen circumstance with the car, we will not be able to. So now I have to find something to get Eric and only Wednesday to shop for it! I have class on Monday and Friday and I'm working on Tuesday and Thursday. (42 scheduled hours this week!) I can't believe it's been 7 years. You don't see how long it's been; like with kids, you see how they grow over the years...marriages aren't like that. I can't look at a picture of us from 5 years ago and "see" how we've grown. I guess that's why it's so hard to believe that we've been married for 7 years and how his parents can't believe they've been married for 40+ years. With the boys I'm even startled sometimes...we got a pair of pants a few years ago from my SIL and I thought, "gee, Ryan is never going to fit in those." Well, he barely does now, already ready to outgrow them. :o) I just can't wait to see what the next year, next seven years, next seventeen years will bring us.
This past Wednesday I got to have lunch with Amber and Jennifer, Mindy and Stacy were working/had just gotten off of work. After lunch the three of us went to Target and shopped around-had a wonderful time! Got to see Amber's themes throughout her house. It's going to be so nice and I'm so excited for her. Jennifer had to go home after that but Amber and I went to Marshall's where I bought a $380 short trench coat (Vertigo Paris) for $40 and my first Aigner purse for $30! So excited to use it this spring! The coat is stunning! And the lining is so soft!! It's kind of lame how excited I am about this. hahaha! Anyway, I had such a good time with them. I miss seeing them as often as I used to. I guess I just got spoiled being in school.
Surrogacy update: I am moving forward with another company. No clue on when I would be able to carry for a couple as they would have to buy the insurance for me but at least it's a possibility. I'm so excited!
Something happened at work this week. Very ill man, DNR, family having trouble dealing, the works. They prayed. I'm pretty open in the fact that I'm agnostic. I believe in God but not they way most people do. I can't not believe that there is something bigger than myself, something that is too great for me to understand. But I don't believe in heaven or hell, in prayer, some guy watching me up in the sky, etc. I don't mean to be crass or put down another person's belief's, at the end you'll see it's quite the opposite. See, I don't believe in these things myself, but I believe in them for my patients, their families, my friends and my family. I found such comfort that my patient and family found comfort in believing. I didn't feel like everything was going to be okay in the sense that he would live but that he could die peacefully and his family could cope in a way that was healing for them. I think when I say I'm agnostic people take it as I don't believe in anything. But I guess what I believe in is peace for yourself, whatever it is you take comfort in. I appreciate my friends praying for me (though, I didn't always) because I know they care and they find comfort in prayer. I hope this is all making sense. Religion always gets so complicated and I'm trying to describe it on a very basic level.
Well, I suppose I should call it a night soon. That 42 hours is going to be rough to get through...but at least I have three days off after that. And Friday night I get a date night with my hubby. <3 Nothing fancy, of course, because that's just not us. We are going to Red Robin, movies and maybe a hotel for the evening. We sure could use time by ourselves.
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
What On Earth...
That seems to be how the bulk of my day has gone. Needless to say, it's how it seems to go when you take care of people with...well, I guess any people. LOL! (That's about all I can say without breaking HIPAA).
I started on Advanced Care today and I liked it, but I do miss 5NW. My heart lies in taking care of heart patients. It has for awhile and I guess it always will. Maybe I'll like this rotation more as I get into it but, man, what I'd give to get a day job on 5. I think today was especially hard since I'm switching my schedule up again-went from going to bed at 0100-0200 to getting up around 0500...it's hard on the body. A good point of being up there today, well sort of, the circumstances were less than ideal for this to occur but I pulled a central line today. :o) I'm becoming a big girl nurse!
I've gone back to WW. Actually have for a few weeks now. Did really well at first, lost 6.4 of the almost 20 (YIKES!) that I had gained back. Then TOM hit and it hasn't been pretty. Back on program and so far so good. Still trying to figure out how to eat well when you work 12.5 hours. And when the heck do you exercise? I've been running on my old treadmill at home but it's manual incline adjustment and it's always on an incline and the key is missing so I work harder to go a decent speed. But I've run at least one mile on an incline every day I've been off for the past week with the exception of Saturday. Can't wait to get back on the track though!
I'm looking forward to tomorrow and Friday. Tomorrow is Muffins with Mom at Ryan's school and it will be the first time in a long time that I've been able to participate in something like that. So excited! Then I might have lunch with Stacy-haven't seen her since Austin's bday party and I can't wait to hear about her job and catch up! Friday will be another enjoyable day as I head to lunch with at least Amber (yay!!!!) and maybe even Mindy and Jennifer. I miss my girls so much and with spring coming it just reminds me of how much fun we had and how close we all were last spring. Oh, how growing up can suck! :o)
And last but not least: my surrogacy path may not be over just yet. I have so been looking forward to doing this and I couldn't just leave it at "no" so I did some more research, found a company called 'Creative Beginnings' that is based in Cincinnati that will accept me (pending all their qualifications, etc) without the surrogacy insurance in hopes that I can match to a couple and they buy the insurance policy to cover the surrogate pregnancy. I do hope I can do this! It's such a gift to give to someone else-my boys are a blessing and I can't imagine life without them. I have friends and family who cannot conceive and would be the perfect parent...why should they be limited? I know that some people think it's for the money that goes along with it but that's just icing. I would be putting that money away for my boys for college. Not everyone can be a surrogate due to emotions, attachments, etc. I saw something about it on Dr. Phil today at work. (I was not watching voluntarily as much as being held captive in the land of never ending IV meds) I hope that I can be one of the people that can do it! I have a very supportive group of family and friends who I know will help me and support me every step of the way. They are the very best that anyone could have.
Well, I guess that's it for tonight. Better get some sleep. Morning will be here all too soon.
I started on Advanced Care today and I liked it, but I do miss 5NW. My heart lies in taking care of heart patients. It has for awhile and I guess it always will. Maybe I'll like this rotation more as I get into it but, man, what I'd give to get a day job on 5. I think today was especially hard since I'm switching my schedule up again-went from going to bed at 0100-0200 to getting up around 0500...it's hard on the body. A good point of being up there today, well sort of, the circumstances were less than ideal for this to occur but I pulled a central line today. :o) I'm becoming a big girl nurse!
I've gone back to WW. Actually have for a few weeks now. Did really well at first, lost 6.4 of the almost 20 (YIKES!) that I had gained back. Then TOM hit and it hasn't been pretty. Back on program and so far so good. Still trying to figure out how to eat well when you work 12.5 hours. And when the heck do you exercise? I've been running on my old treadmill at home but it's manual incline adjustment and it's always on an incline and the key is missing so I work harder to go a decent speed. But I've run at least one mile on an incline every day I've been off for the past week with the exception of Saturday. Can't wait to get back on the track though!
I'm looking forward to tomorrow and Friday. Tomorrow is Muffins with Mom at Ryan's school and it will be the first time in a long time that I've been able to participate in something like that. So excited! Then I might have lunch with Stacy-haven't seen her since Austin's bday party and I can't wait to hear about her job and catch up! Friday will be another enjoyable day as I head to lunch with at least Amber (yay!!!!) and maybe even Mindy and Jennifer. I miss my girls so much and with spring coming it just reminds me of how much fun we had and how close we all were last spring. Oh, how growing up can suck! :o)
And last but not least: my surrogacy path may not be over just yet. I have so been looking forward to doing this and I couldn't just leave it at "no" so I did some more research, found a company called 'Creative Beginnings' that is based in Cincinnati that will accept me (pending all their qualifications, etc) without the surrogacy insurance in hopes that I can match to a couple and they buy the insurance policy to cover the surrogate pregnancy. I do hope I can do this! It's such a gift to give to someone else-my boys are a blessing and I can't imagine life without them. I have friends and family who cannot conceive and would be the perfect parent...why should they be limited? I know that some people think it's for the money that goes along with it but that's just icing. I would be putting that money away for my boys for college. Not everyone can be a surrogate due to emotions, attachments, etc. I saw something about it on Dr. Phil today at work. (I was not watching voluntarily as much as being held captive in the land of never ending IV meds) I hope that I can be one of the people that can do it! I have a very supportive group of family and friends who I know will help me and support me every step of the way. They are the very best that anyone could have.
Well, I guess that's it for tonight. Better get some sleep. Morning will be here all too soon.
Friday, February 12, 2010
What a day!
I do enjoy my job. I get a lot of satisfaction from helping my patients and talking with their families. But days like today really drain me and I just don't have much left. Today was my first day with difficult patients-called docs and put in all kinds of orders. I gave plasma today...it's hard to talk about everything without violating HIPAA so I'll leave it at that. I had one patient with BP issues and another with respiratory issues. It was a crazy day.
I didn't eat breakfast, then no lunch til 1430 and tried to squeeze a very quick dinner in around 2000. I'm so glad tomorrow is my day off. I did call and schedule a dr appt for myself though because this cold is lingering around and my ears were so plugged up today that it was really hard to get a manual BP. Of course, two hours later my ears popped and no problem. If I wake up in the morning and my ears are ok, I might skip the appt. I should probably send Eric instead and see if he really does have pneumonia. LOL!
The snow has been ridiculous around here! I'm glad I don't live on the East Coast...but almost 2 feet of snow is more than enough to justify complaining. I guess we have more coming but I've heard conflicting reports on the amount. My days off have been ruined by snow days for the last week and I really need to get caught up on sleep and housework in a big way. Since the roads are clear, those kids are going to school! I wanted to sleep in until 10 but my appt is scheduled at 1010 in Kettering so I better be up before that I guess.
Eric's dad was supposed to head home from Florida today and be home on Sunday but Eric thought we should be nice and watch the dogs for another week so Papa could stay and avoid the snow. I'm so ready for these dogs to go home; it's been a month now and it's just too much. I can't believe how much two little dogs can upset the normalcy of our house. But our house is small and we're still getting used to Hank and getting Hank used to going us and getting house broken. We've gone through three big bags of dog food in the last month and tons of dog treats. I've lost pictures, a little stool that Eric got me in Texas, socks, shoes, carpet, blinds and a few of the kids' toys since the dogs have been here. So over it! Oh...my in-laws are buying a winter home in Florida, which means that if we want to we can vacation there in the summer. That might make up for this mess! hahaha!
Well, at 0130 I think I better get myself to bed. Just had to get some of this out so I could sleep. That's the worst part of working til 2330, no one to talk to on the way home or when I get home. I love the shift otherwise...especially the 10% shift diff from 1500-end of shift. I work this wknd so that's a 15% shift diff and I really like that. :o)
I didn't eat breakfast, then no lunch til 1430 and tried to squeeze a very quick dinner in around 2000. I'm so glad tomorrow is my day off. I did call and schedule a dr appt for myself though because this cold is lingering around and my ears were so plugged up today that it was really hard to get a manual BP. Of course, two hours later my ears popped and no problem. If I wake up in the morning and my ears are ok, I might skip the appt. I should probably send Eric instead and see if he really does have pneumonia. LOL!
The snow has been ridiculous around here! I'm glad I don't live on the East Coast...but almost 2 feet of snow is more than enough to justify complaining. I guess we have more coming but I've heard conflicting reports on the amount. My days off have been ruined by snow days for the last week and I really need to get caught up on sleep and housework in a big way. Since the roads are clear, those kids are going to school! I wanted to sleep in until 10 but my appt is scheduled at 1010 in Kettering so I better be up before that I guess.
Eric's dad was supposed to head home from Florida today and be home on Sunday but Eric thought we should be nice and watch the dogs for another week so Papa could stay and avoid the snow. I'm so ready for these dogs to go home; it's been a month now and it's just too much. I can't believe how much two little dogs can upset the normalcy of our house. But our house is small and we're still getting used to Hank and getting Hank used to going us and getting house broken. We've gone through three big bags of dog food in the last month and tons of dog treats. I've lost pictures, a little stool that Eric got me in Texas, socks, shoes, carpet, blinds and a few of the kids' toys since the dogs have been here. So over it! Oh...my in-laws are buying a winter home in Florida, which means that if we want to we can vacation there in the summer. That might make up for this mess! hahaha!
Well, at 0130 I think I better get myself to bed. Just had to get some of this out so I could sleep. That's the worst part of working til 2330, no one to talk to on the way home or when I get home. I love the shift otherwise...especially the 10% shift diff from 1500-end of shift. I work this wknd so that's a 15% shift diff and I really like that. :o)
Friday, February 5, 2010
Something New
Well, I guess not too new. I used to blog frequently on MySpace but since I rarely log onto MySpace I haven't as much. I made a note on Facebook but it just isn't the same. So I followed Amber's lead and created a blog. Thanks Amber! :o)
My new job is great! I love what I'm doing - I have so much left to learn but that just makes me more excited! I have realized how important those lessons from instructors and preceptors were, how randomly those little things come back. I had some students with me this week and I realized how I must have seemed to my instructors for quite awhile...lacking confidence, working slowly, etc. And I definitely feel that change within myself. I don't have a problem walking into a patients room and introducing myself - I still get butterflies sometimes at the beginning of the shift but as soon as I walk in that room it's like breathing, just natural. I don't want to sound too much like I'm in the honeymoon phase, but it is what it is. I questioned myself in 230 and before and right after boards and so far on the job I haven't. I'm glad I'm there. So I guess, reality shock here I come!!! haha! Right now I'm working 11a-1130p on 5NW Cardiology. It's a pretty good unit, kind of boring sometimes but one day I'll be begging for time to sit on my butt! I'm going back to 7a-730p shift for the next two rotations which will be 6SAC (Advanced Care, like ICU step down) and then Neuro which I am terribly nervous about. I would eventually like to get back to CICU. I would also love a chance to go to ER. I'm still waiting to hear back from Ohio University on their BSN completion program but I think I'll be starting classes again very soon. ;o) Then just a few more years to work on my Master's so I can teach. But I've got time to get that done.
The boys are doing great! Ryan loves first grade and I think will pass me in height by the time he's in 5th grade. He's an excellent swimmer and I'm just so proud of him. We're starting to look at whether swim teams are a good option for him. Austin is the same little monster he has always been, into everything and has no plans to stop. He's at Sinclair's Early Childhood Center and has learned so much in the last month. He's growing up so fast!! And no, it doesn't make me want another one. LOL! Well...sort of. I'm still working on the surrogacy thing. Just heard from Eric's insurance company that they will not cover any expenses for surrogacy so we are waiting to hear back from the Agency to see what if anything we can do to move forward. Wish us luck!
Eric and I are coming up on our 7th anniversary. Can't believe we've been married that long! I'm trying to plan something nice but we won't have much time. His Mom said she'll watch the boys but for how long (and if she really does) who knows? With her dogs being here, it has added a lot of stress to our household and half the time one of us has to get up in the middle of the night and sleep on the couch so they don't tear up the house...which only works sometimes. Then with me starting the new job and working an odd shift, I've hardly seen him in the past month. (I didn't see my boys from Tuesday evening until today and I swear they grew a foot each!) Guess I better start working on something nice for him for all of his hard work!
Something exciting happened in my neighborhood this week. Tuesday night the drunken fool down the street from me crashed his Expedition into two mailboxes, a truck, another two mailboxes and finally (with bent rims and tires laying sideways) stopped in someone's front yard. Hopefully he stays in jail for awhile. He used to have the cops called frequently when he lived with his wife...domestic violence, of course...This is one of the guys that speeds up and down the speed bump-ridden street for no reason and makes me nervous to even get my kids in my car. Hoping we can be moved within this next year...guess I'll be updating about that via blog now. :o)
I suppose that's it for now. Going to get some sleep. I have a very busy couple of weeks ahead of me. I have work or class almost everyday of the next two weeks. Getting the hours are going to be awesome, especially when the paycheck comes but I need to rest up in advance. haha! I've had a cold this week and then getting used to this schedule has been quite difficult, only got 4-5 hours of sleep per night for the last three nights.
And Super Bowl is Sunday!!!! GO COLTS!!!!!!! :o)
My new job is great! I love what I'm doing - I have so much left to learn but that just makes me more excited! I have realized how important those lessons from instructors and preceptors were, how randomly those little things come back. I had some students with me this week and I realized how I must have seemed to my instructors for quite awhile...lacking confidence, working slowly, etc. And I definitely feel that change within myself. I don't have a problem walking into a patients room and introducing myself - I still get butterflies sometimes at the beginning of the shift but as soon as I walk in that room it's like breathing, just natural. I don't want to sound too much like I'm in the honeymoon phase, but it is what it is. I questioned myself in 230 and before and right after boards and so far on the job I haven't. I'm glad I'm there. So I guess, reality shock here I come!!! haha! Right now I'm working 11a-1130p on 5NW Cardiology. It's a pretty good unit, kind of boring sometimes but one day I'll be begging for time to sit on my butt! I'm going back to 7a-730p shift for the next two rotations which will be 6SAC (Advanced Care, like ICU step down) and then Neuro which I am terribly nervous about. I would eventually like to get back to CICU. I would also love a chance to go to ER. I'm still waiting to hear back from Ohio University on their BSN completion program but I think I'll be starting classes again very soon. ;o) Then just a few more years to work on my Master's so I can teach. But I've got time to get that done.
The boys are doing great! Ryan loves first grade and I think will pass me in height by the time he's in 5th grade. He's an excellent swimmer and I'm just so proud of him. We're starting to look at whether swim teams are a good option for him. Austin is the same little monster he has always been, into everything and has no plans to stop. He's at Sinclair's Early Childhood Center and has learned so much in the last month. He's growing up so fast!! And no, it doesn't make me want another one. LOL! Well...sort of. I'm still working on the surrogacy thing. Just heard from Eric's insurance company that they will not cover any expenses for surrogacy so we are waiting to hear back from the Agency to see what if anything we can do to move forward. Wish us luck!
Eric and I are coming up on our 7th anniversary. Can't believe we've been married that long! I'm trying to plan something nice but we won't have much time. His Mom said she'll watch the boys but for how long (and if she really does) who knows? With her dogs being here, it has added a lot of stress to our household and half the time one of us has to get up in the middle of the night and sleep on the couch so they don't tear up the house...which only works sometimes. Then with me starting the new job and working an odd shift, I've hardly seen him in the past month. (I didn't see my boys from Tuesday evening until today and I swear they grew a foot each!) Guess I better start working on something nice for him for all of his hard work!
Something exciting happened in my neighborhood this week. Tuesday night the drunken fool down the street from me crashed his Expedition into two mailboxes, a truck, another two mailboxes and finally (with bent rims and tires laying sideways) stopped in someone's front yard. Hopefully he stays in jail for awhile. He used to have the cops called frequently when he lived with his wife...domestic violence, of course...This is one of the guys that speeds up and down the speed bump-ridden street for no reason and makes me nervous to even get my kids in my car. Hoping we can be moved within this next year...guess I'll be updating about that via blog now. :o)
I suppose that's it for now. Going to get some sleep. I have a very busy couple of weeks ahead of me. I have work or class almost everyday of the next two weeks. Getting the hours are going to be awesome, especially when the paycheck comes but I need to rest up in advance. haha! I've had a cold this week and then getting used to this schedule has been quite difficult, only got 4-5 hours of sleep per night for the last three nights.
And Super Bowl is Sunday!!!! GO COLTS!!!!!!! :o)
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