Helping a patient after many months in the hospital has been a trialing and rewarding experience. I have three nights off and I hope when I go back on Saturday this patient isn't there anymore. Hopefully they will have finally gone home.
I almost gave up; I almost stopped. I probably should have-but I just kept going. Another learning experience. But to know this patient is walking out of the hospital soon is the greatest feeling. To have gone from holding their hand and thinking that this may be "it"; you know, that moment...to only a week later and we might be sending them home...it reaffirms that reason for me going to work. It took many, many days but I finally accomplished my goal of helping this patient get well and go home. :o)
The night before last was rough. Four isolation patients and two were admissions. Don't ask how that happened-it's a long story and not all that important. But it was frustrating. And overwhelming. And I walked out of a room and said "Oh my god! I hate this place!"
I don't really. I was burnt out. Burnt out on taking care of my patient (see above) and from always having four patients regardless of the team and always getting the admits and on and on. Even if it isn't quite always, it just felt that way. That night and that moment was the final straw.
It's been emotionally draining the past few weeks and I just needed to have that moment. Have an outlet for my frustrations. See, I actually really like my job and I like my patient's quite a bit too. Most of the time. ;o) What I needed even more was to get that news that my patient was going to get to go home. Such a rewarding moment that I promptly shared with everyone I saw. Almost everyone on the unit has cared for this patient and knows the story; I know that a few of the other nurses were pleased as well.
I can't help but wonder what would have happened last night if I hadn't gotten that news...
Decision:
The decision was to stay on 6SAC. I figure I'll stay and get more experience and in the next 3-6 months apply where ever I want: one of the ICU's, CICU, or ER. I'm happy on 6SAC. I just got there and I'm not ready to leave. Being in school and trying to orient to a new unit, an ICU at that, might not be the best idea. And so I'll wait...and make another decision in 3-6 months.
Wish me luck!
Wednesday, July 28, 2010
Wednesday, July 21, 2010
Ramblings of a Night Nurse: Decisions, decisions...
Yesterday morning I marked down on my sheet of paper what my decision was for the upcoming changes to my unit. See, we are moving to a Neuro ICU and eventually (though no one knows when) 6SAC will be no more. I, of course, think that my unit is the best in the entire hospital and that I work with the best people one could work with, so I'm sad to see it end. They are breaking up the ICU into Medical, Surgical, and Neuro, we were given the choice of those three or stay on 6SAC for while it remains. My goal has been to get to ICU, but being a nurse for 6 months makes me a little nervous to jump into ICU. I'm just now comfortable with working step-down and still find myself with many, many questions. But maybe I should just take the leap?
After flipping back and forth on my decision for many weeks I finally checked my box and signed my name. I just hope that my decision works out for the best.
I have started picking up and working hours for people and I certainly don't mind it and I really don't mind the extra money. But I'm burnt out now-I haven't had many days off in the past month and I'm anxious for it. I've got some long breaks in shifts coming up-once I even have 6 days off in a row-and I can't wait! I should be sleeping now since I'm back tonight. But my brain is just reeling. Too much going on.
During my never ending time at the hospital lately, I have gotten to help other new nurses. Kind of scary that there are nurses that are newer than me, huh? But it's very gratifying to have a nurse come to me and ask my opinion or ask what we do when ___. What's even better is that I often have some kind of helpful hint or bit on information that helped me along the way. I hope I'm helping them the same way that my wonderful preceptors and the great nurses on my unit have helped me.
I was honored last week with a mention in a family letter:
"Elena Soppe was dad's nurse on the dayshift Friday and Saturday. She was very sweet and friendly, taking time to answer our questions. And again, she didn't make us feel rushed, and she stopped by and checked on all of us frequently."
How rewarding! Sometimes we don't always hear from patient's that we did a good job taking care of them; I wouldn't expect to either. I'm not in this for the "thank you's" and "good job's" but it's so nice to hear that I am doing something right. What's really great about this is that I remember this patient and I remember his family. His daughter (who wrote this) is a nurse in my hospital, so that makes it a little extra special in my mind. The letter is posted on the unit so when I start to feel a little run down I go sneak a peak to raise my spirits and remind me of why I'm there. Even if it is the third in a row after one day off from the previous third in a row. Or after working 12 hours with a very trying or challenging patient. Don't know what I'll do when they take it down. :o) I also feel so lucky to work for a hospital that has such great employees throughout the organization; the family also thanked techs, transport personnel and environmental personnel for their kindness and smiles.
One other decision I need to make is whether I will continue being a primary nurse for a patient I've been caring for. This patient has been in the hospital for some time and I've taken care of them since shortly after they came on my unit. This patient, due to diagnosis and the other goings-on, is just draining to take of. Very pleasant and a very nice person but it just takes everything out of you. And when you have two or three other patients. Sigh. This is another decision I have flip-flopped on. Usually I just make a decision and stick to it. I guess it's just another way this situation is draining me.
Well I better get to bed now. Maybe. Or maybe I should fold the laundry. Ugh-I really suck at decisions lately.
After flipping back and forth on my decision for many weeks I finally checked my box and signed my name. I just hope that my decision works out for the best.
I have started picking up and working hours for people and I certainly don't mind it and I really don't mind the extra money. But I'm burnt out now-I haven't had many days off in the past month and I'm anxious for it. I've got some long breaks in shifts coming up-once I even have 6 days off in a row-and I can't wait! I should be sleeping now since I'm back tonight. But my brain is just reeling. Too much going on.
During my never ending time at the hospital lately, I have gotten to help other new nurses. Kind of scary that there are nurses that are newer than me, huh? But it's very gratifying to have a nurse come to me and ask my opinion or ask what we do when ___. What's even better is that I often have some kind of helpful hint or bit on information that helped me along the way. I hope I'm helping them the same way that my wonderful preceptors and the great nurses on my unit have helped me.
I was honored last week with a mention in a family letter:
"Elena Soppe was dad's nurse on the dayshift Friday and Saturday. She was very sweet and friendly, taking time to answer our questions. And again, she didn't make us feel rushed, and she stopped by and checked on all of us frequently."
How rewarding! Sometimes we don't always hear from patient's that we did a good job taking care of them; I wouldn't expect to either. I'm not in this for the "thank you's" and "good job's" but it's so nice to hear that I am doing something right. What's really great about this is that I remember this patient and I remember his family. His daughter (who wrote this) is a nurse in my hospital, so that makes it a little extra special in my mind. The letter is posted on the unit so when I start to feel a little run down I go sneak a peak to raise my spirits and remind me of why I'm there. Even if it is the third in a row after one day off from the previous third in a row. Or after working 12 hours with a very trying or challenging patient. Don't know what I'll do when they take it down. :o) I also feel so lucky to work for a hospital that has such great employees throughout the organization; the family also thanked techs, transport personnel and environmental personnel for their kindness and smiles.
One other decision I need to make is whether I will continue being a primary nurse for a patient I've been caring for. This patient has been in the hospital for some time and I've taken care of them since shortly after they came on my unit. This patient, due to diagnosis and the other goings-on, is just draining to take of. Very pleasant and a very nice person but it just takes everything out of you. And when you have two or three other patients. Sigh. This is another decision I have flip-flopped on. Usually I just make a decision and stick to it. I guess it's just another way this situation is draining me.
Well I better get to bed now. Maybe. Or maybe I should fold the laundry. Ugh-I really suck at decisions lately.
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